A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 24 year old married woman. I have a husband who will insist on getting up at 2:00 in the morning to go to Walgreen's because I have the sniffles. I get love letters and flowers, and get so much sex that you wouldn't believe me if I told you more.I didn't really love my husband when I married him but I do now. I want to be the best wife for him I can be. I came from money but my daddy got hit hard by the recession in real estate. A family friend offered to bail him out if I would marry his son. I liked Eric, but didn't really think of him as husband material. I put off sleeping with Eric until I married him, but now I find that during the days, I am thinking about what he has in store for me at night. He's GREAT!!!Staying on a budget is new to me as he insists we make on our own. I am glad to see my daddy back on his feet again as the bail out did help. But money and things don't mean much to me any more. The thing is I am worried that my husband my find out about my deal with his dad. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): Forget it. Just enjoy the life. he will not find it out
Arranged marriages are very common in half of the world and believe me they work similar and much better.
Have trust and love and respect for him and his dad and his relatives. he will never leave you.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Ooo Angzw's anwer is way better than mine. Do that that is brilliant!! Well done Angzw that's fantastic and very sound advice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): Just tell him you were secretly in love with him but didnt want to admit it to his dad when the deal was made, so that his dad would still want you two to be married. It would be very hurtful for him if he found out, and I dont think that truth in this case is worth his broken heart.
Lie to yourself to hard that you believe it yourself, and tell yourself every day that you loved him from the start. Or say that during the engagement period you fell for him.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Ah, your story is so romantic, it reads just like one of my Mills and Boon romance books...
Girl falls in love with the man she is forced to marry... don't bother telling him, cause it will spoil things..
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Why in the world would you agree to this arrangement? You were already a married woman, so there should not have ever been a deal to begin with, regardless of your dad's financial woes. To make a deal like this, indicates your Dad has no respect for your life, your marriage or for you as a person. You are nothing more than a comodity to him. I'm sorry but that is horribly wrong on so many levels and you have to end this arrangement right now. Do not ever get in the middle of a situation like this again, regardless of your parents financial problems. It's their deal, not yours. If you love your husband, stay with him and don't ever get sucked into this kind of crap again.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (8 April 2010):
Just go to your husband's dad (your FIL) and thank him for having brought you two together. Tell him you are happy and his son is very happy too. Then leave it at that. I don't think its necessary to tell your husband hurtful things. I'm sure his father would also never try ruin his son's life.
If by some unfortunate chance it does come out, you can always say that you did thank his father for introducing you to him because you are genuinely grateful. Chances are, your husband might have an idea anyway; perhaps it was his idea together with his father?? Have you considered that he might have said "daddy get me that girl"? How did he know that if he proposed you would say yes? Also, if the father never actually spoke directly to you to tell you to marry his son, then as far as you are concerned, you fell in love and that's it. On another note, arranged marriages have been occuring for centuries; it doesn't mean that there is never love in such relationships. So just enjoy your wonderful marriage. All the best.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (8 April 2010):
I'm presuming only you and the father knows about this deal? If he says anything he is the most twisted individual on the planet and you can make a case out of that so that your husband wouldn't believe a word he says anyway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): you better make bloody sure he never finds out. You better go to his dad and tell him how much you love his son and that it will be destroyed if even a hint gets out. No paper trails to be discovered in the future. Treasure the gift you have...make every day count. And for Gods sake never ever tell. Im not for secrets in relationships, but i have learned that sometimes silence IS the only thing to do. It is the kind thing to do. It is the trade off for a happy future. Trust me on this, i learned thru experience...we weathered the storm, but not without a lot of pain. And we had a 26 year old foundation. And our issue was nowhere near the magnitude of this one. Even if your marriage survived, something precious would be destroyed and forever changed..put it away, and leave it there and pray that it stays there. Good luck honey, mal
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Wow! Aren't you lucky. If there is a chance of him finding out than beat them to the punch. Tell him all this happened before you had feeling for him, but now you are in-love with him and would do anything to make him happy. Tell him that you are being honest because you don't want there to be a chance of him finding out from a third person that might twist thing around, and you want him to hear your version first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): How would he find out unless his dad tells him, in which case your FIL would also have to explain his actions. You love your husband and you're happy...enjoy your life and stop worrying about this!
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