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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been in a relationship for the past two years and nine months. I still love him, but I had to break up with him recently because I have fallen for someone else. I'm not certain if I truly want to be with this new guy or not, but I couldn't stay in the relationship because I would be lying to myself and the guy. Not being with him hurts so much. Should I stick o my decision and get to know this new guy better or should I swallow my pride and get back together with my old boyfriend?Is it normal to fall in love with someone else while you're in a relationship with someone who would give you the world? Is that a sign that something is not right with the relationship?Confused.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2006): If not being with your ex hurts so much; will he take you back is the real question you should be asking him.
It is common to fall for others after the honeymoon period has worn off when a relationship has become mundain. Everyone wants the buzz that comes with new love but relationships take work to succeed.
Your wanting someone else suggests there was a problem in your past relationship that you should have discussed with your ex to try and resolve.
Whatever you choose to do just be honest about it. Lies cause confusion and more hurt than you could ever imagine. I know because I've been the ex who was lied to and I'll never get over it.
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 October 2006):
 I think before you do anything you need to take some time out to work through your own head and work through your feelings for both your boyfriend and this new guy, love is never made to be simple even though we all wish it was.
If you got back with your ex these feelings you are experiancing towards this other guy will probably get in the way of you and your boyfriend so you need to put these to rest before you get back with him therefore getting to know him and seeing whether they are deep feelings or maybe just an attraction, be careful though as you may lose your boyfriend forever if he decides to move on from you and the relationship.
Good luck :o)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006): ive bin wid myn for nearly 3 yrs too..my boyf is brill..although he gets really moody n seemz 2 get more n more boring each tym i meet him...then thers my handsome guy mate...sumtyms i wish da i was a risk taker n sacrifice everything for that one moment wid my mate..bu then i realise that nearly everything i want is in my boyf..i also then think...i dont wana get really old n regret the fact that i never took the chance to find out weva my mate liked me or not..u gota balance it all out..pro's n cons..whoeva has the most 'brownie' points...choose dem..(kip in mind tho 2 yrs is a long time n u cud break ur mans heart n looose him forevaaaaaaaaa)...i hope im nt confusin u even more..welcome to my world...freind x
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female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (23 October 2006):
 havent we all been there you need to think about what you really want and who you wana be with ive been were you are and it isnt nice i was with my parnter for 3 years than along came a bloke that was differnt and showed me a good time so i broke my parnters heart and went off wth the new bloke what a mistake that was i made the wrong choice and have lernt the hardway you do what your heart tells you to do goodluck
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (23 October 2006):
 Well, I have been that boyfriend and from his point of view its a hurtful thing because you don't know whats going on and you mention breaking up with him is the right thing to do...Well, it hurts not because your not together but because he loves you. Its almost like the grass is greener syndrome. The only advice I can give you is to be very careful because you now have taken the first step in tarnishing something with your boyfriend that may never be rekindled. You take the chance of ruining something beautiful on a whim. Now if this new guy is worth it then how do you know??? You spent 2 years and 9 months getting to know your boyfriend and you are willing to put that on the line for a possiblity. I hope it works out for you but like I said I used to be that boyfriend and when my ex did it to me. I never looked at her the same way again. Good Luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006): wow, i know the feeling. and it's probably the most confusing thing i've ever experienced. or should i say am experiencing. no one can really answer your question in a black or white, yes you did the right thing, or no you didn't, kind of way. in my opinion, i at least think you did the right thing by telling your boyfriend rather than stringing him along. because you can never go wrong when you're honest. because above all else, that's most important. now, if you feel you miss him too much to go on, then maybe you need to rethink things. but then again, after nearly 3 years of being together, you're bound to miss him, no matter what your feelings towards him were at the end of the relationship. so this is a toughy. for me personally, i had never had feelings for ANYONE else for the entirety of the two years that my partner and i were together. and so when i met this new person and truly liked them, it really messed with my head because i thought that for me to like someone meant that something was wrong in my current relationship. anyway, i think you need to make a decision. but which ever decision you make, you must stick to it completely. if you chose to stay with this new guy, lose contact with your old boyfriend. and if you chose to get back together with your boyfriend again, and he'll take you back, lose contact with this new guy. because having them both around will inevitably cause you to never really know which one you want and only cause more confusion for you. good luck and i hope everything works out for you. and trust me, i'm in the same boat with you.
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