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I love my husband, but since having our children, I've lost my sex drive. Please help.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 November 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am a 27 yr old mother of 2 awesome boys (5 and 2). Since having my kids i have lost my sex drive. This problem is ruining my life and my 8 yr relationship with my husband.

I feel really bad because he thinks that i do not love him or am not attracted to him and that is far the case. When ever we do have sex it is awesome and i wish it can happen more often. I do not know what to do any more.

Please help me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks alot guys for ur responses. I will definitely try some of these thngs. As far as the sexy lingerie i hve done that because he loves it but im am not too happy with the way i look after having kids. He tells me im still sexy and i can how turned on he gets when he sees me naked but i dont think i look good at all. I used to b 124 lbs and now im 148. As much as i want to get in shape it is easier said than done with work n 2 kids (which by the way r 5 and 3 not 2, sorry). Any advice on that.

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (17 November 2008):

BigSis agony auntI don't think you've lost your sex drive at all, as you wouldn't be enjoying it so much when you do do it. It might be that you're just over tired and all you want to do is sleep when you finally do get to bed. I do understand how you're feeling though.

You really must try and spice up your nights in bed with him, or better still, when the children are asleep, or the elder one is in school and the baby's asleep, try for a little nooky during the day.

Tempt him, talk naughty to him, surprise him with sexy underwear - any time of the day or night, this will show him that you're not going off him. He must never be allowed to think that.

My marriage went sour not that much longer after I had my children, one of the reasons was because I was too tired.. (I had twins) ...but he couldn't understand that, and got too impatient. He ended up getting it from someone else.

Please work at it, I'm sure everything will be as it was before you started your family. Be happy, look sexy, show him how much you love him and I wish you the very best of luck.

BigSis

xXx

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A female reader, helpjayne United Kingdom +, writes (16 November 2008):

helpjayne agony auntget a baby sitter for the weekend! 1 day to relax so you can go for a meal and relax and well rested the next for fun go buy yourself a sexy outfit and stop being mommy for the day, you should take atleast one night out for you and your husband and just relax in eachothers company. once you are well rested you need to get that spark back. tell your husband your fantasies and get him to tell you his.

x

hope i could help

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