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I love my fiancé very much. But I’m not that sexually attracted to him.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 February 2011) 0 Answers - (Newest, )
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Okay so I’m engaged and I love my fiancé very much. But I’m not that sexually attracted to him. I do enjoy sex when we have it, but his appearance doesn’t get me aroused. I still fantasize about someone I am currently just friends with that I used to sleep with. I have always had strong feeling for him and I did really want to be in a relationship with him but he wasn’t ready when I was three years ago so I moved on. But I haven’t been able to stop wanting to be with him. I even tried not having contact with him for a year (thinking out of sight, out of mind), and that didn’t work. I still want him sexually and emotional. I feel so strong about it that I feel like I love him, but it feels so different from the way I feel about my fiancé.

I guess I’m very confused about what to do. My fiancé and I are planning the wedding. But I have just started hanging out with the other guy. We are not doing anything wrong, just spending time together talking and watching movies, etc.. And my fiancé even knows that we are hanging out, but doesn’t know we used to sleep together. It’s not that odd for me to remain friends with someone I slept with in the past, but it is odd for me to still have romantic feeling for them.

I just don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to break off my engagement. But at the same time I really want to be with the other guy more intimately then just friends.

View related questions: engaged, wedding

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