A
male
age
30-35,
*theiting
writes:I have been best friends with her since kindergarten. We are both 18 now, I have known that I love her as much more than a friend since forth grade, but have always been too scared to ruine out friendship to ask her if she feels the same. We are still best friends and I see her every single day. She found a guy online that she likes, he moved all the way to Wisconsin from Massachusetts to be win her. They are now engaged with no date set. They just left today for a week trip to massachusetts to see his family. I still love her with all my heart, more than anyone else in the world but I don't know if I want to tell her because she seems fairly happy with him most of the time, and I don't want to mess up what relationship we do have. The plan is that she will be moving to Massachusetts with him after the wedding and she will have no reason to come back ever (she doesn't get along with her parents or family members) and that is unbearably painful thought. Do I let her go or tell her how I feel and risk our friendship?
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best friend, engaged, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Wait a minute, you're in love with this girl but you might be bi and you love this other guy? Well honey which is it?? Are you leaning more towards the male or the female? I think you're confused, in that case don't tell your girl best friend you love her, or this other guy. Sort out which gender you prefer! Then go after what you want. But I think it's best to let your other friend who's getting married go. If it was meant to be with you then she'll find her way back to you. Right now, figure you out!
A
male
reader, Stheiting +, writes (11 November 2010):
Stheiting is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the fast answer to my question. But there is another thing to add to the mix... My best friend is gay, we own a business together, we do everything together, just like her and I do. I see them both separately and together every single day. I think I mite be bi but I don't really know. I do know that my gay friend had fallen irrevocably in love with me and I think I feel the same about him. I have told him this in not so many words... I actually just had that conversation with him just moments ago. I am so confused with all of these feelings at once. I love him too but I'm not completely sire it's the same lie as I have for her.. I realize this is a really tough thing that I can't really have someone else decide for me but I would really appreciate your views on this...
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
Normally I would advise against it..but seeing as you have very good intentions and I feel like she's getting married to someone she hardly knows plus to get away from her family is all the wrong reasons to get hitched. Go ahead and confess how you feel, otherwise you'll regret not telling her when she leaves... She could be making the biggest mistake of her life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Life is too short to keep your love hidden. Tell her how you feel. But do it discreetly, and don't make it too dramatic. Ask her to a private place and do it alone. Tell her that you haven't wanted to damage the friendship, but now that she's engaged you have to tell her your true feelings. Go for it! Good luck.
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