A
female
age
30-35,
*llie.x
writes: I've liked my first cousin for 4 years now and only today i found out that he liked me to for the same amount of time. I thought it would be wrong if anything sexual should happen between us but if it did it would ruin the family and i dont know what to do because i have strong feelings for him. i've tried not to feel this way about him but i just can't help it and we have been so close these past few months and i need help on what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): There is no law in Britain that will prevent you from loving or even marrying your cousin. The only problem is that your family might be afraid in case you two break up. You will have to see your cousin for the rest of your life, this makes things very difficult, so you have to be very, very sure before you start a relationship with him. Please go and speak to your mother, tell her what you feel and ask for her advice. She knows your family the best and she knows you, and she will want you to be happy, no matter what. Don't feel ashamed, you have done nothing wrong. Be brave and go speak to your mother and get her to help and support you with this.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 October 2008):
It's not so much a problem with you getting together... but it's when you split up that the problems come. I mean what if he cheats on you? Your dad would want to kill him and you would have to see him and his new girlfriend at every family occasion - or what if you get together and he falls for you and you want to break up and it all gets terribly messy?
You are only a teenager so I guessing you aren't planning to get married just yet - so we have to assume this will come to an end one day.
I think that you really just have to hold on to these feelings for now. Do you talk to your mum about which boys you like? If so you could maybe say you like your cousin and see what she has to say.
Once you are a bit older then you might stand a better chance of getting together and staying together.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): There is nothing wrong with loving your cousin.If you are worried about genetics you don't have to.Only 1-2% increase in risk.All that matters is that you love each other.You're family might be upset but if they love you they'll eventually get over it.Go for it.
If you need support go here:
http://www.cousincouples.com/forum/
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