A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am 18 years old and I am in love with my cousin we have been secretly dating since I was 13 I never meant to fall for him We met in NYC after not seeing each other for 7 years I didn't feel him like family He is my best friend the one person that knows me best and has been there through it all! We want to be together we had sex for the first time two weeks ago he was my first! He says he wants to marry me as soon as I get out of college I don't really care what people think or say but my mother she has been the best mother anyone can ask for she has always been my best friend and I know she would never understand Because of her I have tried to stay away from him many times but no matter what we some how end up together again sometimes I think is fate and that we are just meant to be! Though I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me I don't want to disappoint my mother! What should I do??? I don't want to lose him or the love of my mom!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): Hmm well tell your mom 1st before any other family member explain why you didnt tell her when it first started. and also if she loves you and he makes you happy she should not be disappointed. Though at first she may look at you strangely but they get over it after 3- 6 years and will accept u lol. oh and if your religious it may be harder for them to accept it because its taboo in most religions. Its normal there's nothing wrong with it though, just try not having kids. even if there not mentally disadvantage or have some kind of philosophical difference etc: eyes they might have asthma or skin conditions they maybe even die at a young age i have a friend who's son just died and my friend are cousins. he's son was 8 years old. Plus if you do have kids anfd there isnt somethign wrong he/she might find out when they're older and well look at they're parents the wrong way lol. So heres a sayign i've heard a lot remember safety first!!
A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 You've been dating for a very long time, so it's obviously not just a fad. If you really do love him then you need to be open about the relationship. You could try talking to other family members first, preferably ones that you can guarantee will not talk to your mom before you get chance to.
You described your mother as your best friend.. so you're obviously really close. In which case, I would assume that she wouldn't be quick to judge you. If he makes you happy, then your mother should be pleased, not disappointed. You have to make it really clear that you are serious about each other, and that it's not just a fling. She'll probably be more hurt by the fact you have kept it a secret all this time, so you'll have to explain that you did this because you didn't want to hurt or disappoint her.
Good luck x
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