A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I am engaged to a man who I am so in love with, and just couldn't live without him. Last weekend I was at a hen weekend with some of my reckless friends, and to be honest, it was more like a bender. We just went wild. I was so out of it I almost ended up kissing another man, and a girl! I pushed them away when they leaned in to kiss me, but I must have behaved soooo inappropriately to give those signals. I am disgusted with myself and feel like I have really let my man down. I think I am going to distance myself from these friends...if I am going to be in a committed relationship then going out and drinking myself stupid is not on, as it puts me in dangerous situations. The bride to be actually slept with someone else and can't even remember! Now I am left wondering if I should tell my fiance. I know I owe it to him to tell him, but I'm terrified of losing him and I don't want to hurt him.
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male
reader, lifesgreat +, writes (30 August 2014):
Reading the title I was ready to tell you that you don't love him and to stop dating him ..
BUT I like the fact you didn't actually kiss somebody and the fact you realised what you was doing and stopped it so good on you .
I would usually advise you tell him BUT you didn't actually do anything wrong just learn from your lessons and don't do it again :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2014): You're better off to leave that night where it happened. You've learned your lesson, and if your want to make it up to yourself and your FIANCE'. DON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN!!!
Going on binges is going to lead to trouble in most cases.
You may want to distance yourself from that group of women; because sometimes they are intentionally leading you astray.
Just to create gossip and/or to bring you down a peg; when they think you feel you're better than the rest of them.
You didn't actually kiss anyone; so what is there to tell but the fact you were drunk out of your freaking mind?
Why tell your fiance'? So he will distrust you when you go out from now on, or have to carry the visual image planted in his brain of his future wife looking like a drunken hot mess? You've punished yourself. Perhaps that is enough.
If you want to relieve your guilt, tell him you got drunk; you and the girls were really a mess, and embarrassed yourselves. That is what usually happens and is expected at hen weekends. Every last detail is too much information.
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A
male
reader, fzald  +, writes (29 August 2014):
Yes, you should tell your man. It would be terrible if he found out from someone else or through some other means. Yes, you *almost* did something wrong. You ended up in a risky situation. However, you did the right thing. You recognized the bad situation for what it was - even when under the influence - and you stopped it from happening. You also recognize that you need to distance yourself from people who exhibit such behavior. I'd say you showed true faithfulness and concern for the well-being of your relationship!I can tell you that if my GF were to come to me and tell me the story you told us, I'd have no problem "forgiving" her - infact, I'd think it's great that she was able to be upfront and honest - and that she did the right thing in a bad situation. I'm sure your guy loves you too and, unless you hold this from him, I don't think you'll have a huge problem. He might be uncomfortable with you hanging around those friends or being in that situation for a little bit, but you said yourself you recognize that it's not a healthy situation, so you'll be fine. Sometimes events like these can actually strengthen a relationship!Good luck!F
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