A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so this girl and I met at the start of the school year (we're college freshmen). Shortly after we met, I realized that I liked her, but it wasn't much more than a crush. Around the same time, I realized that she has a boyfriend who goes to a different college. That bugged then, but not nearly as much as it does now...So in the past year, we've become best friends, but a few months ago, I realized that I am completely in love with her. I've seriously never felt this way about another girl. A few months ago, I told her that I've always liked her alot when she was feeling really sad becasue she and her boyfriend were having issues. She admitted that she had minor feelings for me before then, but she got over them because she didn't think it was fair to like two people at once. Then during December, her bf broke up with her. Of course this made me the happiest person in the world becasue I thought I finally had a chance with her. I didn't rush anything, but I flirted with her comfortably, and she seemed to go for it (she would hold my arm/hand during a movie). HOWEVER....things went WAY downhill when we separated for 2 weeks for Christmas Break (we live in separate states). Her ex-bf kept begging her to take him back, and I kept begging her not to. But since she still had feelings for him and didn't want to hurt him, she took him back. It broke my heart.I've continued to be her friend, while constantly reassuring her how much I love her. I flirt with her constantly, and I know I shouldn't becasue she has a bf, but I can't help it; I love her too much. I've never tried to kiss her or anything (although I've suggested it). She tells me that it usually takes her about a year to really like someone, meaning that she won't start really liking me till the beginning of next school year. I'm willing to wait for her, but she just says that we should just wait and see what happens.The final, and by far the biggest problem is that her bf is transferring to this college next fall. So I will be forced to hang around and see him flirting with the girl I love. She is my best friend, so I can't just refuse to see her because that would be cruel. I just don't know if I should wait for them to break up again (which idk when would happen)or try to move on. It hurts like hell to try to forget my feelings for her!!!!!! Someone out there has to know what this feels like :( Please help!
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best friend, broke up, christmas, crush, flirt, has a boyfriend, her ex, move on, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2013): My advice to you is to just forget about it for now. She is not going to cheat on her man for you. Try to move on but don't forget about her all together. She will need you to be that shoulder she needs to cry on but at the same time, she will love and appreciate you for that. Don't be waiting in the shadows for her relationship to end just so you could try to be with her because she will pick up on that and you will NEVER get that chance. So basically, put your feelings on hold for now and be the best friend that she needs. It should not matter if her BF is coming to the school, your her friend and he can't change that no matter what.
A
female
reader, sherrig +, writes (17 March 2013):
Continue being her friend, and when her boyfriend transfers to your school, she will probably see if he is or isn't a jerk. Only time will tell. If he and she get together, then find a girl you can double date with them, sometimes this is the nudge needed, to see how she feels about you. She may stay with her boyfriend or she may be jealous of you, and tell him tio take a hike, especially if he notices other women too much. She's right, give it time. Good Luck
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