A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Boyfriend loves me alot, more than anyone ive even been with and i love him so much too. Hes very thoughtful and affectionate and is always showing his love for me in many ways, sounds perfect right? wrong, i love him just as much, but im not the most affectionate, lovey dovey type 24/7 like he is and we've gotten in a few minor arguments about little sarcastic jokes or things i said which was intentionally meant for humor, but sometimes he takes it TOO serious and thinks that i dont love him or dont want to be with him. i tease him sometimes about his diet and he laughs and then when i brought it up to cool down another recent argument then he took it the wrong way. I love him and i just want to show him that. He told me that he never really felt loved before so sometimes he gets doubtful. But thats something i want to take away from him, i love him more than anything and it makes me upset to know that sometimes he has doubts :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): sarcasm humor should only be used if it's mutually agreed upon and mutually enjoyed by BOTH parties which means both parties are both dishing and receiving it equally and both enjoy it and don't take it personal. Obviously not all relationships are built like this. I do it with some friends but not others. Certainly not with my parents (they don't get it - to them everything you say is face value). If your bf doesn't like it, and not everyone does, you should cut it out already.he may be a bit under confident which makes him over sensitive, but persisting with sarcastic humor at his expense isn't going to build him up just tear him down even more.if you wanna use sarcastic humor around him, direct it a a third party target like something you see on TV, but do NOT direct it toward him or anything to do with him at all.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): Sarcasm is not dangerous. Its speaks to your ability to analysis the world around you and shoehorn that analysis into humor. It is very indicative of cleverness, however, to be clear, it is by no means a prerequisite for it. It is who you are, as as a fellow sarcasm addict, I've just come to accept that some people are and will forever be at odds with sarcasm; it's just the way they are, just as sarcasm loving is the way you are. Some people with very thick skin, oddly, can find the sting of sarcasm, although many other -- arguably worse -- things have little impact on them. There is being mean for the sake of being mean, but there is a line (albeit it fuzzy) between sarcasm and meanness for its own sake -- do not be made to feel, by others or your own conscious, that such a distinction does not exist. You can't change you sarcastic sense of humor ways, it is who you are -- I've tried: it didn't work, but in retrospect, wouldn't I have liked it to. You will likely be unhappy systemically, as you will always feel like you're walking on eggshells around him. It's not that he doesn't love you for who you are, he clearly loves you very much, but it would appear to be that he can't. This leaves you with the option of changing (which as already stated is next to impossible to do) or suppressing your sense of humor, and revel in the boredom/blandness that will ensue. If you can live with that, you can live with that -- depends how much you love him. Personally, I could never get along with people who didn't share my sense of humor on an intimate bases for a long period of time.Humor is the glue that keeps two people from driving each other mad...if you don't share that, what do you?Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2011):
 then stop teasing him. Behind every joke is a bit of the truth and your teasing is HURTING him.I would never tease or be sarcastic about personal things like diet...My fiance is much the same... he hates my biting sarcasm. He takes it seriously and it hurts his feelings so I try very very hard to NOT be sarcastic with him. My kids are used to it (they are adults older than you) and the fiance can't figure out why they even talk to me....
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (28 December 2011):
 Sarcasm is a dangerous road. He is likely not the first person you have hurt with your sense of humor. This is just the first time it has come back to bite you. Sarcasm and put down humor are never polite, and frequently hurtful.
Your affection has likely been the best thing that has ever happened in his life. He wants to believe. He is building his self esteem. In fact his esteem is healthy enough now that he won't accept a put down. It is a very good sign for him.
The ball is in your court. How will you play it? Will you continue with your way, and lose him? Will you change your habit and bring him in? At the same time you will be better to all your acquaintances.
FA
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