A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:1 year and 9 months ago me and my boyfriend broke up and he refused to speak to me afterward even though he said we could still be friends. although we never spoke i could never get over him and a year and 2 months after we broke up he started talking to me again because i started getting colse to another boy. however after apologising for hurting me and saying we were friends again ect he'd stop talking to me then i'd ask whats wrong he'd say he was busy and would talk to me soon and after a few days he'd come back then stop talking to me again in circle that wouldn't end.then on christmas i got a message on facebook saying merry christmas which started a whole chain of conversation thoughout the start of this year. due to his art and geology corsework we still hadn't actually spoken then last weekend we aranged to meet up and when we did we started off just talking about random stuff then he went quite for a bit then said he was sorry for hurting me and asked if i wanted to try again i'm still maddly in love with him so i obviusly said yes. he held me and kissed me and said loving things to me and so i became the happyist girl on the planet...for about 7 and a half hours because at 9:00 i got a message saying he wasn't sure if he was serious and didn't know what he wanted and that he needed some time, i told him that was ok which was a lie and i spent the rest of the night sobbing into my pillow worried about the outcome of this and wishing he thought it through properly before acting. anyway so today he completely blanks my excistance all through school then when i get home he texts me that he going for a hair cut he's driving me nuts he so confusing. what should i do? i love him to no end and i do anything or give anything for him i love him so much and i cant just move on but it's tearing me appart.
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female
reader, bellagirl20  +, writes (30 January 2013):
Although I am a little older than you... the same thing just happened to me. It doesn't matter if you are 17 or in your 40s... we all hurt and feel the pain of a broken heart just the same. I got the email after New Year's from a man I dated last year. He told me he missed me and wanted to try again. Our on-again relationship lasted 3 weeks this time and then he said he needed to think because he wasn't sure we were compatible after all. I actually waited for him to think for one entire week (miserably I might add) and then he officially dumped me yesterday by text! What a coward! I'm no longer hurt just angry and really happy that I didn't let it go any further because he isn't worth the time and effort. Don't wait for him to decide the fate of your relationship. Be strong... you are much better than him. Tell him that if he cares for you and loves you that he must treat you with the respect you deserve. If he can't do that then tell him to get lost! If he knows you are miserable, he will keep treating you the same. Have fun with your friends at school and try to forget about him. Don't wait around for him. Be true to yourself and know that you deserve to be treated with love and respect. I know it's hard... especially when you really like someone. Good luck :-)
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (29 January 2013):
What you have to do is accept the fact that you don't actually love him like you think you do. It's more complicated than that.
What you really want is to be accepted by him. People HATE being rejected and it can make you feel like you've lost the perfect guy and you love him more than you're own life.
But what you've described here is not a boy who earned those feelings by being treating you well and giving you love. He got you to feel that way by rejecting you and stringing you along.
It's strictly psychological.
Recognizing this can help you move on. Some people have rebound relationships to help them get over someone. While it can work, it shouldn't be what you do every time.
There are more than 3 billion guys on the planet. Don't let one of them make you feel this way when there are so many better guys out there.
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