A
female
age
26-29,
*arissalover1
writes:so i've been dating the same guy for about 1 year and 2 monthes (i've been counting lol). but ever since day 1 my mom hasnt likde him one bit!im gunna call him 'bob'. now 'bob' and i have made some... uh... really bad choices but even so... most of them are my fault and he always trys to talk me out of them! and my momma knows that! but she still insists on the whole romeo and juilet with no climb thing! i love him sooo much and i cant live with out him but obviously momma doesnt care... what do i do?! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 Mommas are not as dumb as you may think they are. Maybe you should listen to her if she has a bad feeling about this guy.
I can remember being your age and fighting with my mom over boys. She was always yelling at me don't do this, and don't do that, so much that I never realised what she was actually trying to tell me until it was to late.
As a result I got pregnant right after high school (graduated in June and married by October) Only then did I realize that my mom wasn't trying to ruin my life, she was trying to save it.
What I wish she would have told me was this:
Look you are only young and free once. This is the ONLY time in your life that you can do whatever you want to do. You can go to college or move across the country, or go to NYC to live with your friends, or backpack across Europe.
Whatever you want to do, or try, or see, it's all wide open for you right now. But once you get married and have a child those doors start to slam shut. And you don't get to have those choices anymore. Especially once you have a baby, because for the rest of your life you will have to make choices about what is best for your child first, not for yourself anymore.
And I threw all that away before I even knew what I was doing. That was the message she was trying to tell me.
I just never heard it. Please don't make the same mistake I did. My husband and I got divorces by the time my son turned 5 years old. And we struggled with money for years.
My friends moved to NYC without me and I didn't get to go to college until my son was 16 years old.
I am happily remarried now to a wonderful man, but I would give anything to go back and do things differently if I could.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 You must have just started dating. Is your momma telling you can't date Bob? Or is the issue you want your mother to accept him?
Your parents aren't always going to like the boys you choose to date. They will make it known their opinion. You can take it for what it's worth. Either you can accept she doesn't like your boyfriend or him bend over backwards to get your momma to like him. However, that can be very tiresome. She also believes it won't last because you're young and just getting your feet wet in the dating world. As you get older and go through life there will be plenty of options (guys) to choose from. You may love Bob now, but I bet you will change your mind in a about a year. Most high school relationships don't last long.
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