A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in 4 separate relationships since I was 18 (10 years ago), my most current one being 5 years and counting, with a man 19 years my senior. Lately I have been dreaming of being alone, for about a year or so, as I feel I have no idea who I am or what I want because I have always had someone else to think about. This I think is making me resent my boyfriend as I feel trapped and held back. He is confused and hurt as whenever he asks me, I tell him I DO love him, which I truly do. Although I have no urge for sex with him, but find myself attracted to other men... the resentment showing I think???Is it crazy to want this??? I don't want to do the "take a break" rubbish either because that would still leave me feeling in limbo, and would put pressure on and confuse the both of us... yet I can't imagine him not being in my life. I don't know what the hell to do. It is also made a million times harder by the fact that I live with him. I love him but I want the freedom of being able to make a decision for myself and only myself. Is it selfish or does everyone want this at some stage???
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