A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im in a LDR and this guys has been acting not interested in me. he assures me he loves me but im starting to think hes not the right guy for me. I love him ever so much but i dont think i want to be with him anymore?...ever time i try spliting, i just keep texting him. Apart of me feels like i just gave up on him. how do i let go without going back to him? should i let go of him?...everytime ive said it over, he doesnt really fight that much to get me back... he says hes use to losing people he loves... what do i do? how do i resolve this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): "LDR relationships CAN work, but fail when one party decides to quit instead of trying to figure out a way to really work on the problems involved."
Very true DV1 but he's that one partner who has quit here, not her. She's even here asking us how to fix it. She's the only one showing any fight here. So there's nothing she can do anymore as she's tried everything, breaking up is the last ditch effort don't you think? If that doesn't work then nothing will.
He's given up, he won't fight for her, he won't change so there's nothing more she can do as he's quite simply not giving her what she needs.
You said it yourself DV1 it takes two, if one gives up then it can't work. He's given up, so it can't work. Fuck his emotional fragility, if he's that much of a bitter pussy then he should be alone until he sorts his head our, she's not his mother or counsellor, she's his girlfriend and she has needs to which he is neglecting.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): OP you're in an LDR with a guy who doesn't make you feel wanted, desired and one who doesn't even bother to try and win you back when you call things off.
It's nothing to do with being used to anything, that "I'm used to losing people he loves" shit is just a ploy and an excuse to why he doesn't make any effort with you. He's just not that into you. If he were then he'd be scared of losing you and he'd step up but he doesn't. The thought of losing you is just like "meh, who cares?" to him. It's very clear from that how much you mean to him OP.
Screw fighting for him OP, this guy doesn't want to be fought for. He knows there's a major issue which is driving you away and the best effort he can give to fix that is "meh, I'm used to it"? Well then he's obviously just not as into you as you'd like him to be, he really doesn't give a damn whether he's with you or not.
You don't resolve it because there's nothing to resolve OP, you're flogging a dead horse, I mean come on dumping a guy is his last chance to step up and win you over and he doesn't, the thought of losing a person you love/like is one that makes most people step up and fight, but you're the only one who does that in this relationship, he just doesn't give a damn about you or the relationship. So either stay with him out of pity or move on to someone who does actually like you enough to fulfil your needs
If you can't let go and won't stop texting him there's nothing you can do. You can waste all your time with this guy or you can move on but he's not going to change at all, how much longer are you keep banging your head against the wall?
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 He expected things to fail because he's continually been disappointed. It's not that he's not committed, it's that he's been hurt many, many times in his life, and is really scared to put himself on the line again. All he can keep thinking is: "what if this fails"? Yes, it's created an insecurity in him, and you might see it as weak, but if you love him for his flaws, then what's necessary is for you to be the one fighting for him. It might seem like a role reversal, but if you want it to work, that's what you'll do... LDR relationships CAN work, but fail when one party decides to quit instead of trying to figure out a way to really work on the problems involved... If you can't handle a partner's emotional problems, then I think the truth of it is that you're not ready to be in a committed relationship...
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): If you think that his not right for you, then follow what your head is telling you. Most of the time its right.
If he told you that his used to losing people he loves probably because HE has some issues.
LDR relationship usually doesn't last. It only works for people who are 100% committed to each other.
It seems like your bf is not otherwise you wont be writing here. My advise get rid of him. Start making yourself happy and worry free. good luck
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