A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months now and love him completely - I just don't feel turned on by him at all. I've always wondered what it would be like to be with a woman, and lately, can ONLY get turned on by imagining I'm sleeping with girls.. I don't really fancy girls and am pretty sure I wouldn't want a relationship with one. I have never had feelings for any female I know, sexual or emotional (other than platonic, I mean). I am just confused as to why I am not getting turned on by the thought of having sex with men in general, and I definately dont feel turned on when I have sex with them... am I kidding myself that I'm striaght?? What's the route to finding out? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Cherriepie  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 Hi hunny.. in my esperience i learned to love girls just a few years ago.... all i can say is having sex with girls doesnt replace guys for me, but its a bonus thing for me. I still like guys better, and if i had to choose i perfer guys. but it doesnt change the fact that i still have enjoyed girls, cant deny it. maybe you should spread your wings a little and see what its like with a girl, and it probably wont change your preference, but you cant go on just wondering all your life. maybe after you been with a girl you can say ok, i did that, now i dont have to think about it anymore. or you might be bi after all and didnt know it.
i guess your going to have to start by meeting girls. and dont be shy. tell them that you are gay and curious to have a girl. if you are hot im sure that there are plenty of girls who would want to do it with you.
i never dated a gay guy, but if you approach lil ole me with that story, i might be tempted to help you out. you got a perfect opening to get a girl interested...thers no harm in trying.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): I had the same problem. Well. No you are prob'ly not gay. What it is is that you are simply bored and need something maybe different from what you are used to to spice things up.
When I went through this I went to a gay bar and got hit on by a very attractive girl.. we made out for a few minutes and it felt weird (not in a good way)but like it was not what I am meant to do. So thats a test if you want to put it out of your mind. Of course, make sure you are sober while doing this test. If you do enjoy it.. and crave to do it again and again it could mean you are bi. Which is not wrong. But watching lesbian porn does not necessarily make you gay or bi. Also as girls, we tend to explore our sexuality orientation a lot more than guys but most girls are quiet about it and don't confide in their girlfriends.
My boyfriend and I then had a talk where i plainly told him I was bored but that I love him and I told him I needed to spice things up. What worked for us was role playing and attempting the foreplay (touching etc) in public places without having people notice. It would drive me insane with anticipation so that when we'd get home I'd want to be all over him! Maybe act out a sex scene from a movie or video!
Go to the closet sex shop pick out interesting lubes and oils maybe toys and fool around with those! Make a night of it!
There are lots of things you can do to get creative! Have fun and hope this helped!
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