A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I hate living with my boyfriend!! HE is a complete slob, and I have to put up with his stuff everywhere.......I dont even have enough space to put my stuff so most is packed away still in boxes. This place is so bad that i am depressed and lack motivation to even unpack my stuff...why bother when there is nowhere to put my stuff anyway...I want to move out and have my own place, but he is complaining that this is not fair to him that he doesnt want roomies and that i am the only reason he can stand his jobi hate being tied down like this, but he is too closed minded to see that i am suffocated and desperate to have my own room FAR AWAY FROM HIS GRIP........how can i make him understand that I love him, but I HATE LIVING WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 June 2013):
 let him complain....
if you don't move out he will lose you when you leave permanently.
He can complain all he wants, he's not physically retraining you is he? he's not holding on to your phone or your checkbook so you can't go find a place is he?
if he threatens you with stuff like he'll lose his job or he'll hurt himself... tell him to be a grown up and own his own problems.
do not ask permission.
do not talk about it
go out, find a place, sign the lease set a date, rent a truck, get some friends to help and MOVE...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): You either move out or he loses you. That's your choice here OP and guess what, if you can't live with someone then you really don't have a long term future with them.
There is a chance he'll change in the future of course, I'm the slob type but not when cohabiting with people, I grew out of it on my own when living alone.
He has a nice situation here OP, everything on his terms, sex on tap and a girlfriend who most likely doesn't want live in shit so cleans up after him.
How long are you going to let this continue?
If you want to be with him then do you think it's going to work like this? It's not, you'll slowly start top hate him to the point where you want out completely, if you want to save this relationship the only way is by moving out.
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A
male
reader, xinhua  +, writes (7 June 2013):
 Every relationship that has been roped is not healthy.If this made you feel uncomfortable,you need a conversation with him.A true lover he must be Considered for you,love is mutual support.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (7 June 2013):
 Hi
Actions speak louder than words. Simply move out and take control of your life again
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): "I want to move out and have my own place, but he is complaining that this is not fair to him that he doesnt want roomies and that i am the only reason he can stand his job"Translation: It's not fair to him because he'd be no longer enjoy the benefits of regular sex with a shack-up girlfriend AND the housekeeping services of an unpaid live-in maid. "how can i make him understand that I love him, but I HATE LIVING WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Move out. You must have known he was a slob before you shacked up with him, and what motivation does he have to change as long as you stay?As my late grandmother would have said, "Why buy the cow when the milk is free?" And why clean up spilled milk when someone else will?
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