A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with this guy for several months. I lost my virginity to him hoping we will end up dating but he said he just got out of a 3 year relationship. I dont really know why, but I kept on sleeping with him for 2 months. I know it was stupid, but I had the most amazing time with him. I havent seen him since June cause we both went to Europe over the summer. I have a feeling that Im not the only one he's doing this with so I decided to cut him off. He texted me a couple of days ago saying hi but I didnt respond. But now its so hard for me to live without him. I cant eat, I cant sleep, almost every guy I see in school, I see his face. I really think im in love with him and I dont know what to do. Should I call him? I know he will only hurt me of I see him again and people just tell me there are plenty of good guys out there but I only see this one and feel so empty without him. Please help!!
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 September 2008):
 In my opinion, you agreed to have sex with him for a misguided reason. It is ok to have sex because you enjoy it, or because you either love or are very fond of the person. It is even ok to have sex just for the fun of it, or because you are physically attracted. But it sounds like your intent was to "trap" or "lure" the guy to become your boyfriend. While that may not be "wrong," it is trickery in my opinion. Anyway, it is no certain way to snare a boyfriend, but it is understandable that you would continue to harbor strong feelings.
You are probably correct that you are "not the only one he's doing this with" so your choices about what to do are 1) be part of his harem and continue chasing him, or 2) move on and find a man who will hopefully appreciate you for more than fun and sex.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): Unfortunately, he may have gotten from you exactly what he wanted - sex. It doesn't seem as though he wants anything more than that.
Try to get over it. If you keep thinking about him, you will continue to have feelings for him.
This is why it is vitally important to get to know someone BEFORE becoming intimate with them. That way, you are able to see their true intentions.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): You're certainly a bit mixed up here. You want him badly, you think you're in love with him, you had the most amazing time with him but you cut him off because you have a feeling about him? There must be some logic in there somewhere but it escapes me.
What was so stupid about sleeping with him? You enjoyed it, he enjoyed it and everyone was happy.
Just get back in touch with him and see how it goes. What have you got to lose?
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