A
female
age
36-40,
*issy512
writes: My ex-boyfriend and I had been together for 4 years. During our relationship, we became best friends. During the last year of our relationship, I experienced lots of stress from trying to finish my senior year of college. I slacked on our relationship because of class obligations. We still hung out but I was usually tired and withdrawn. He finally broke up with me because he said he was tired of not having the relationship we used to have. I agreed to let him go so that I could get myself together. We have been apart for 8 months now. During this entire time, we have been playing a back and forth game of who wants who. When I came back to him after about 5 months of me time, he told me that he was not ready. I moved on and gave him space. A couple of weeks later he begs me to get back with him and I say no because I had moved on. After a month, I realized all my mistakes and made it my mission to prove to this guy that he was worthy of my love and that I was willing to make sacrifices to get that hot relationship we had before. To my surprise, he doesn't want a relationship with me. This was weird to me because he had voiced everyday for 2 months straight that he wanted me back. He had recently gone back to college and I was back in my hometown, so I thought it was the distance. But he assured me that the 100 mile difference wasn't the problem. He said he had issues to work out. We communicate now everyday as best friends, but deep down I want more. He knows that I want more and he says he wants a relationship with me also. He always makes sexual comments about me and says he loves me. He even says he wants me to be his wife because I have always been there for him and I am the only person who understands and cares about his feelings. I am totally confused because I love this guy very very much. I want nothing more than for us to be happy together, but I wonder what could be holding him back?? Why does he say I'm the perfect angel, but he doesn't want a perfect angel that wants nothing more than to be happy with him?? Please Help Me!!!!
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (27 September 2009):
I suggest that you tell him exactly how you feel. That you love his company, intelligence, et cetera, et cetera and that being only friends is not working for you. Be honest with him and tell him that you want a relationship and nothing short of that will make you happy.
Then you stick to it. If he contacts you, and he says anything other than "let's be together", tell him to have a nice day and end the conversation. Hold out for what you want and the odds are good that you will get it.
Good luck.
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