A
female
age
36-40,
*olly3
writes:I am 23 year old girl and i really need advice on my life situation. in shorter terms - 4years ago i had a beautiful daughter to the man i once loved we sadly lost our daughter to heart disease and it left us devastated it slowly teared us apart and he cheated on me with several people from a social network site, bebo. i tried so hard to make him realise wat a mistake he was making. I then met a new man and we hit it off like a house on fire it was so sweet innocent and i was his first love. I instantly fell in love with him, he wrote me a poem and was such a refresh in my life i love being with him. untill my ex came back begging me to come back and how sorry he was and how he missed me i went to see him and i made the biggest mistake by sleeping with him, i told my partener what i had done and we got over it he forgave me, i am so deeply ashamed that i did it. Only since this my ex has been sending me letters presents and its messing with my head because we shared our beautiful baby together and our loss i feel like were bonded forever.My relationship now with my boyfriend is soo hard as he has distanced off from me but still tels me after i cheated on him 2 years ago how much he loves me and want to be with me. Im a paranoid mess i am jelous off a girl from his college who i think is trying to split us up in order to be with him. I have his passwords to his email and he has mines, just the other day i checked his and he had emailed her and she had emailed him i demanded to no what he was playing at as he knows how insecure i am and that i didnt like her! How can your bf do that to you? knowing u specifically dont like her? I went to his college only to find him walking out with her laughing and joking with her! he then said we need to talk and he said he cant do this anymore and that he wants to have friends(which he never had to begin with when i met him) i then asked to use his fone to fone my mum and low and behold this girl from college had been texting him i was in so much shock and felt sick that i actually was sick twice in the street. I felt crushed that he did this to me.He later told me how she apparently saw an email i sent him and he told her i was a jelous person, i dont no what else he said to her, but i feel soo upset hurt and angry that he even told her anything about me, its not fair and very hurtfulhe doent show me any affecton anymore unless he wants sex. i always have to ask him for a cuddle wen im down. A relationship shouldnt be like this. I want my sweet caring guy i met back and i dont want to not trust him at college but i cant help it what should i do?????? i now feel hes going to go back to college and be best mates with her n tell her everything and she will use it to get what she wants, my boyfriend!! and hes easily influenced and i no if she shows him kindness etc he will fall into her trap and theyl end up together.help please i love him and dont want to lose him :(
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (8 February 2011):
 First of all, forget your ex. I think it is best for both of your sakes because it will only serve to bring you both more heartache.
You need to talk to your boyfriend. Ask him why he treats you like this now? Have you become nothing more to him than his bed toy? Get to know whether or not he still truly cares about you anymore. Let him know that he has hurt you and that you still want to keep this relationship alive. If he listens to you, listen to what he says, listen to what he feels and why. Try to spend more time with each other, make time for each other if possible unless he declares that he just does not feel that way anymore. Hopefully not. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
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