A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a gay relationship with my bf for over three years. He is older than I am and we love each other but for a long time now he has treated me more like a friend not a bf which is hard considering we live together and sleep beside each other every night. Loving him and wanting him but not being able to have him is leaving me feeling very wounded and I am starting to think I cannot live like this anymore. I have talked to him about it many times but things only improve for a very brief time. He is my first serious relationship and I just don't know what to do. How do you tell someone you love you can't be with them anymore? How do you seperate two lives that have been so intertwined together? It tears me up inside to think of the hurt I might cause him to feel. Thank you so much for any advice you can give. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, aim  +, writes (19 November 2007):
 Well simply, love is never a one way thing. You love him dearly, but you don't feel any on his end. Tell him what you're having now can not really be called a 'relationship' since from you side you're the only one doing for the other.
I guess it really cannot be helped. You havta break it off with him if this continues. If he dearly and sincerely changes for the better then give him the chance to prove himself of being your boyfriend.
Just have a talk about it with him. Hope you the best!
aim
A
male
reader, d4u04  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 There is no one definitive answer to this I'm afraid, all I can advise is telling him you're thinking about leaving him because the way things are going, if things improve, fantastic, if not, then stick to your word and leave him.
Obviously it's easier said than done and as you're living together it's going to be harder but if you do decide to leave him, you could maybe stay at a friend or relatives until the dust settles.
Breaking up is one of the hardest things to do with someone you love but you do sometimes have to be cruel to be kind and make things better for both of you in the long run.
Of course you'll both be upset and by all means cry about it but wounds of the heart do heal, it will get easier and maybe you can still remain friends, time will tell.
Good luck x
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