A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(Taken from a previous forum I posted in)I love her, she's my best friend too and we've already spoken about a future together, etc. but I'm having doubts now.We probably haven't spent more than 2 days away from each other. When there's the odd chance I can't meet up, she suddenly becomes sad or annoyed but says she's tired, or she wants a hug, etc. She always likes to be right, too. If we do the opposite of what she likes, she's sad or annoyed or will try her best to change. I'm just getting tired of it!I do try my best, too. Not once have I ever done her wrong intentionally and I never do anything to hurt her. I'm always there for her, to do a favour, go with her to a party, be there for her when it's the time of the month, hold doors open, be polite, etc. but sometimes she does nothing for me. Sometimes she makes up excuses to not do things for me - like she's having dinner, she feels sick, she's tired, etc. etc. Carefully timed eh?If I ever become annoyed or sad at her then, she retaliates with the same treatment. Emotional blackmail isn't nice! I know you're probably thinking I sound very selfish at the moment but if you were me, you'd feel just as how I feel right now! What can I do? I can't talk to her as she is emotionally volatile when I mention something about our relationship changing. Am I in this too far?Things were going better for a while, but we never had the talk yet. She recently went away for a week and we would text, etc. and I was looking forward to her coming back because I was under the impression that things would be perfect again. She came back then and, the first day or two was fine but after that, I remembered why I was so sad in the first place. I should be the happiest guy on earth atm, just got a good exam result and am in a dream college course but to be honest, I'm not a bit excited - this is just weighing down on me.Most days since she's been back she's asked me to meet up every day since. Early texts, too. She'll ask to meet up for the day, completely throwing away any plans I could have made. If I'm in college? Right after, she'll wanna see me! If I have some prior engagement now, I have to give her 2 days notice because she's already asked me to meet her the following day. It's so bad now that I am losing out on friends - I don't get asked to go out anymore because they all think I'm some kind of introvert who won't socialise but all I want to do is have the fun I used to have a year ago with buddies without having to worry about other things.She's still in this honeymoon period common in early relationships but, I'm not. We're a year going out now and I feel like such an * * * * * * * for wanting something better or things to change yet, don't have the balls to actually do anything about it :SI feel like if we call it a day, then everything around me will collapse. My family loves her and hers loves me, we share friends now, etc. Even college friends know her and we're all interconnected in a way!What should I do guys? I still love her but I'm being smothered and feeling inadequate..
View related questions:
best friend, emotional blackmail, period, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (19 October 2010):
 Ok first off you are not over reacting. You need to be the man that you are though and stand up for yourself. You need to talk to her you have to or else you are going to end up hating her because of this.
Ok so am not saying break up with her if you love her and want to be with her then thats a start but you need to have a talk with her.
She should feel secure with you by now after a year and you need to have time to spend with your friends and do other activities outside of your relationship. If you ask me she sounds quite needy and also a bit immature with the emotional black mail, dont let her walk all over you.
Sit down and tell her that you love her and all but that you need time to yourself that you cant spend all of your free time with her that you need to start making new friends at college and spending sometime with your friends if she goes in a bad mood then she is just sulking just tell her you are not changing your mind distance is healthy.
|
