A
male
age
36-40,
*footer
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been together for five years now. Our relationship has not been steady with three breakups coming from my end. I decided to break up three times because I realized her selfish ways were not changing. We used to have a very good sex lifeuntil she began to ignore me when iI needed it. Encouraging me to masturbate it out, even now she still encoured me to do it. We have not have sex in over one year and four months, with many tries and fails but she is not bugging. At the beginning of the relationship she used to talk a lot about her ex's and the many good times they used to have, never to no spending of cash when we go out, talks a lot about her coworkers who are mostly guys, always on the phone texting and ignores my presence, selfish, says she misses me and when I go she wants no touching because she is of the opinion that her folks are mining her business at 31 years old. And yes she is still home with her folks; buys a gift for me and says its hers to borrow too, love to lime with male coworkers even if she is the only female in a group of six men, secretive to her parents and says little joke to play with my head mentally.I don't know what to do because I love her and I think she loves me too but my gut is saying not to trust her seeing we were once engaged and I called it out because of many emotional problems we were having and her one sidedness in the arrangements. We still do hang out but her ways are not changing and she is beautiful who uses her beauty to captivate the presence of men, I think? What should I do? Continue or to leave her alone?
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male
reader, Xearo +, writes (22 January 2015):
Hi fellow Trini,
I would say that you have not mentioned any redeeming qualities and unfortunately it does not seem like the more you try, that she will ever come around. In fact it seems like she knows how to do just the right amount of "little" to just keep you around.
It's been 5 years and you do love her, but she is not doing anything for you. You guys seem like a teenager couple, and you only seem like a safe choice for her while she has fun. And well you obviously allow her to be this way with you, so I would not recommend pursuing this relationship unless you can man up to find some way to change things.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2015): She is manipulating you. She is withholding sex from you for one of two possible reasons. Either she is using withholding sex as a means of winning the battle for emotional control over you, or (more likely)she has already left the relationship permanently and is just not allowing you to move on, she is used to men pandering to her because she is "beautiful" and loves the attention.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 January 2015):
 Have you asked her point blank why no sex no more? You said that the sex USED to be good then boom it stopped and she suggested you masturbate instead, WHAT exactly happened that made her go from having enjoyable sex to no sex at all?
I don't really SEE what you get out of this relationship, other then having a pretty GF.
And besides her looks WHAT exactly do you "Love" about her?
Personally, I don't see this working very well for you. She does HER thing and you seem more like a friend then a BF.
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