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I love her but my brain wont let me stop thinking about it.

Tagged as: Health, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 January 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I was wifes first kiss her one and only love but I broke her heart. She later went and had sex with another man for a minute and told him to stop because she knew it was wrong and it didnt feel right because she still loved me. The man did not orgasm or nothing. I know since she did that she is no longer a virgin. But I still see her as one and we were each other first everything else. This isnt a big deal at all and I love her but my brain wont let me stop thinking about it. Its driving me crazy any help? thank you guys

View related questions: orgasm, sex with another

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A female reader, just a female New Zealand +, writes (1 February 2011):

just a female agony auntok the reason you cant stop thinking about it is that, sex is sex. it doesnt matter that he was in her for a short amount of time, what matters is that another mans penis went in her. that counts her out as being a virgin. im sorry to put it that way and its great your back together but you have to let go of the idea she was sort of a virgin when you had sex, because she wasnt. im sure she feels bad that you wernt her first. its time to move on and enjoy what you have instead of dwelling on what happend.

xxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

And I am the only man who has had oral sex and anal sex with her. Just to add, I love her she is a wonderful person, great wife, everything you can ask for.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I just stopped talking to her, and she liked me so much... only guy she has ever liked. I was her first date, first kiss, and I just ditched her. We were both virgins. I made it appear as if I wasn't and she was too much of a good girl for me, so she went out and felt if she could make me jealous that she could get with me.

We occasionally talked for 2 months after we officially were talking and whenever I sent her an occassional text she would get so happy and then she just started talking to another guy for a week if that. She would still text me and than one night when she did it she told him to stop because she just knew it was wrong. That very night she came and told me what happened. She did not need to tell me but felt she had to.

She was a valedictorian and got accepted to ucla I was going to the local state college. She decided to go to the local college thinking that I might give her another shot. I realized this was a blessing in disguise and we got together. I lost my virginity to her. It was exactly what I expepted, she bled as well and was extremely tight. I love her and don't get mad at her or anything for what she did. I blame my self. She was basically a virgin, but how do I get my brain to work like that?

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A female reader, Luv_doc United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2011):

What did you do to break her heart!? Maybe you consider that first. If you hadn't done that she wouldn't have been with this man in the first place. If she is prepared to forgive you then you need to forgive her. Of course if you can't forgive one another this relationship is going to fail because there'll be no trust.

Also sex is sex. Virginity is an emotional rite of passage rather than a physical one. Were you married when this all kicked off because if so why was she a virgin? When you say sex for one minute do you literally mean his penis was in her for that time or that they were doing other things!?

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