A
male
age
30-35,
*aurav1jha
writes:Hi,When I meet my GF she was became the girl of my life, yeah not only she is the first girl in my life but also my first love.You know it was a kind of loving someone without EXPECTATION.She pretended to be a very simple girl and very responsible. I used to believe her, but after I came to find about one of her blunders I investigated more and I came to know that I was a fool.She is a kind of girl who would cry over her mistakes, and would commit the same, I tried a lot to stay in relationship but now I know nothing can help her.Well 2 months back I broke up with her, but I am in immense love with her, If I want I can get her back.I love her, but I cannot stay with her :(Again if I get back she would get back to her usual routine, because numerous times I have tried to forgive her.I am from a conservative family, thus I value honesty and loyalty in relationship as mandatory.I can't live without her, every second I am dying without her :(But I Can't live with her...I cannot get the similarly attachment with any other girl.I am a hard working guy usually busy with my life, thus i don't have any other friends I stay busy in laboratory without any connection to out side world.She was the only one with whom I was connected to. May be true love happens only once... rest is just life?Today, I am professionally successful. I have everything for a luxurious life....But no one with whom I can share my feelings.I miss her a lot....I love her a lot.....But if I get back she would hurt me again : (
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male
reader, gaurav1jha +, writes (15 February 2010):
gaurav1jha is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yeps! Thanks again :)
but its sometimes hard to focus
I miss her... and often I keep thinking about her...
huh.. don't know. what to do
personal life or professional life
I know had i been not so busy with my work she would not have tried to be the way she is...
she was a very nice person one year back but she went into friend ship with new chaps... who diverted her mind
i know she isn't a wrong person from heart...
this is the main reason for which i forgive her... but it kills me from inside
when i get out of my life its like world is unknown to me
ridiculous part of my life is although; after possessing 5 cell phones and a landline for work i hardly receive a personal in a month,
and thats to from either my bro or her wife or my mom
sometimes i want to live for myself but thats isn't possible
well its +5:30 GMT 15:46 in india and its my lunch time and i am utilizing it in sharing it to myself
I miss my school days.. when i wasn't the slave of clock
I am frustrated of myself... usually i stay up at night working (Newyork stock exchange opens when its night in india) and sleep during morning hours and often cry on bed... about my lonliness
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 You are very welcome! You can always share here when you need to! We are here for YOU!
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (14 February 2010):
By forgiving her over and over again, in her mind you are condoning her behavior. She believes she can always count on you to forgive her!
You need to stand up for yourself, and let her go! She is definitely not the woman for you. She will always cause you heartache!
You will find someone!
Infidelity does seem to be running rampid these days, however monogomy is not dead! Please don't give up on love! Just give up on her!
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A
male
reader, gaurav1jha +, writes (14 February 2010):
gaurav1jha is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLast but not the least
Thank you Very Much both of you...
it really helped a lot...
I had been caring all these stuffs inside me since days... without anyone to share myself...
Thanks Again!
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A
male
reader, gaurav1jha +, writes (14 February 2010):
gaurav1jha is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat I meant to clarify about word "blunder" is significantly cheating.
Yeps! She cheats me and i forgive her.
She repeats herself and i forgive her.
it happened 7 times and i forgave her.
Every time she repeats, she cries, weeps and says
"I am sorry, I think i don't even deserve forgiveness"
she adds up "I can't live without you... this that those bla bla bla"
and I get sentimental and often forgive her... although i don't display but it hurts a lot deep inside, thus to get rid of depression i keep myself busy... temporarily it helps but... :(
Well, heres something that i didn't said you, may be what I am going to say about myself is a criminal activity and I'm sorry about that but i had no other option.
She cheats because she thinks that May be i won't be able to find it out
But I technically deal in telephony and automobile networks and there by I often hack into her communication network(E-mails, SMS, Broadband, Call details,MMS).
when i used to believe her as a goddess i never tried my programs over her cell phone networks, but 2 months back after i came to know that she often hangs around with her Ex without my knowledge,I initiated the hacking of her call details.
and I came to find out She has 3 more cell phone, which she use to talk to 3 different boys(So that call waiting isn't recorded during night calls), After I checked her messages I found it quite explicit.
Even i found that those 3 guys she is getting along with are also cheating her in return.
BUT I HAVEN"T TOLD HER THAT I BREAK INTO HER CALL DETAILS...
Reason
1. Its fatal crime in India to retain call details.
2. If I say her about all this then she would stop cheating but it won't change her mentality.
3. I Don't want myself to be like a controlling boyfriend...
Scene is that i forgive her and again when i am busy up with my lectures or practices and i record her sending explicit messages to different people, sometimes I even find the cell phone of other guy is receiving network of her tower during late evening(Which mean they are together). so what they are supposed to do in a closed room.... huh.
The guy whom she is believing a lot are some one who are cheating on her but sad... i can't say her all this.
If i say her all this, her instant interrogation would be - "hows do you know them? and how you came to know about their cheating on me?"
well.. i can teach those retards a good lesson but i don't misuse my knowledge or my power.
I See people in my everyday life... either getting cheated or trying to cheat... even i see boys & Girls who were seen as loyalty icon in college are often have been observed by me as the ones lying in same line.
I don't make friends... because they often use me for their mutual benefits... I don't find any girl of my type(Conservative thinking) around me to get along with...
Sometimes I think Is Fidelity out of fashion now days?
Whats happening to this world? Is cheating a way of life?I think it would be better to say
- Switch to Liberalism
and One can even justify INFIDELITY :x_X
:(
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (13 February 2010):
You say you can't live without her, yet you can't be with her...what a dilemma!
It can't be both ways...you need to make a decision! Either, you try to move on and keep searching for someone else, or....you take her back and try to work things out!
You say it seemed to be the kind of love with no expectations.
Love, and relationships take effort and hard work and in reality there are always expectations! You expect her to learn from her mistakes...you expect her to love you unconditionally...you expect her to be there for you! Those are all expectations we put on our partners.
Since you haven't given details of what her "blunders" were, it is difficult to give specific advice. It could be she can't handle money well, or it could be she slept with another man. Different situations call for different advice.
Perhaps you can expand on the situation, in order for us to give accurate and helpful advice!
~BG~
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 February 2010):
 For some people, true love only happnes once. She is not your true love (you only thought she was), so you are bound to find another one who can share your feelings and appreciate your talents. You can't get attached to any other girl because you have to let go of her first. Love is much more than taking care of a woman financially. If life does not allow you to talk to the outside world, then I suggest reading books on relationships, on how to seduce women, how to talk to women, etc. Then take the next relationships as practice so you'll get more insight into the relationship dynamics. You don't need to go to public spaces and ask each woman Are you the one for me? There is nothing wrong with being lonely, only if you fall in love with any girl who's available to you, because no one else is.
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