A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 24 and just lost my virginity last night. Almost all my friend lost their virginity during teenage, so I told my bf that I have had sex with few person before but when I saw his penis size, I almost fainted, he is about 9" and very very thick around. I thinks his size is abnormal as I expecting something about 5". I am afraid that he will find out i was a virgin if he hurt me a lot.I just told him that I never have sex with this big size before and hope he can take it slow. When he penetrate me, he try to make it slow but look like my vagina is very small and he need to thrust hard. Once he get the head inside, the pain was horrible, I felt like my vagina stretch beyond the limit and split, I try to control not to scream even it is too painful for me to handle, hopping he did not not notice I am a virgin. He keep telling me that I am tighter than the virgin he had sex before. I understand that the pain is from my hymen and the painful part was over (I think).It is not easy for him to push inside me (may be he is too big or I am too small), each heavy push only able to enter me a little bit, once he enter a little more, the stretching pain appear again and split me into half again. This continue for few thrust (may be 9~10 thrust) and then he come, it is not easy for me to handle every thrust. He said he just enter me about 3.5" and he come so quickly due to my tightness. He said will have sex again next week and I am afraid the remaining 5.5" will continue to hurt me like that.I have a few question:1) Is his size abnormal?2) Is this size not suitable for a first timer?3) Is the pain I felt normal to a girl when she lost her virginity? or it is too much for me to handle?4) I felt my vagina split, it is really split?5) Everybody talking about hymen breaking pain, why I felt the stretching pain was more than hymen tearing?6) My friend told me that its look like hurt a lot more than most of the girl lost their virginity. Is it true? Is it due to his thickness? or just I am too small?
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female
reader, Aunty Emily  +, writes (25 September 2009):
his size is not abnormal,but it's bigger than average.there is no right size for a first timer-he is your man,so he is the right person for you to lose your virginity to-God didn't create penises that are too big to fit into vaginas,relax and remember that this is normal-vaginas do have the ability to stretch a lot-enough to give birth,remember.It is normal for sex to hurt a LOT the first time and even for a couple of years-it is mostly because your vagina is tight-but men LIKE tight vaginas,they love them,so you are lucky to be so small.When you thought your vagina split,it was probably your hymen breaking-this is perfectly normal-if you want to check everything is ok,you can squat over a mirror and have a look.the stretching pain ALWAYS hurts real bad-it'll get better as you get a bit looser
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 1) Yes, 9" is abnormally large for a man if he's measuring it right (along the top, without pressing into his hips, while standing). The average length is 5.5" to 6.5", and the average circumference is about 4.5" to 5.0" around. At 9" long, he would be at the 99th percentile of men.2) No size, even 4" long and 3" around, would be truly comfortable for the first time unless you'd been using dildos and vibrators on your own for a while first.3) Pain is normal for virgins, either because of the hymen ripping, or just stretching for a large intruder you're not used to. But it gets better after the first time or few times, eventually becoming very fun. But if he's that large, it likely made it worse than usual.4) It may have stretched more than your skin's elasticity. It didn't necessarily rip, but may have caused some skin damage from the stretching.5) He's huge. Even for an average sized man, the woman has to be extremely ready for penetration, very well lubricated (either thanks to lots of foreplay, or using KY), and she has to be ready. As you get horny, you'll naturally loosen up and lengthen inside to accommodate him. If he skimped on foreplay, then you may not have opened up nearly enough for even a medium-sized man, much less him.6) See number 5. It could be that he's excessively large (if his 9" measurement is accurate), but yes you are also small as a virgin, maybe even smaller than most virgins. Sometimes, two people ARE simply too different in size to make it work, but if he goes unbearably slowly, and only after doing oral on you (preferably to at least one orgasm for you), and you're literally dripping with lube, it should be more pleasurable. Most of the time, pain for her just means too little foreplay from him. If he wants to be in you, he has to work for it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 September 2009):
I'm a man and as such my answers may not be the best. But I will try. 1) his size is quite large. It's certainly more than average. That doesnt' make him a freak, it just means that he will have to exercise a little bit of self control with you.2)There's no suitable size for a first timer.3)Many girls unfortunately feel a lot of pain for the first time, and usually a few times after that. Don't be put off though, it does get better. 4)Only another woman could answer that question. If you're bleeding in any way, or if you're worried, speak to a doctor. I would doubt that your vagina split though.5)There's nothing wrong with your size. You're perfectly normal, there's not a thing wrong with you.The best thing to do is to research positions that make it more comfortable for you, such as on top, so you can take control of how deep he goes in. Do it gently though, men have fragile egos when it comes to sex. But don't let him pressurize you. Have fun. xx
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