A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I feel the need to ask for honest anonomous opinion here! Ive recently had a fall out with my uncle over a text i sent.he called me shouting and arguing with me. I have never had anyone talk to me like that let alone my own uncle. (i was shaking and held the phone out in front of my told him to f*** off just f*** off and put the phone down) now i am the worst person in the world according to my uncle and my cousin. how does swearing at some one make you the bad guy!!!I keep trying to forget about it- the original text was to do with ongoing family problems(my uncle owes allot of ppl money including me my sis and my parents) so he is in the wrong (no questions about it and my younger uncles and parents and my sis agree).I want to let go but it keeps haunting me! not only am i hurt, my uncles not speaking to my mum now (which she says she doesnt care and better off that way) but i cant help but think he is the own in the WRONG he should be apologising to ME but make me out to be the bad guy and not talk to my mum.ok so i shouldn't have swore but really how bad is that!!! it was only as an auto reaction to what he was saying to me.My cousin text me the next day ' how dare you speak to my dad like that after all he has done for you lot!' what do i owe him honestly? he is the one hurting everyone in the first place. I had a nightmare last night about it all.I feel like i want to call him up and say all out but i know inever will cos it seems to just back fire at me.really am i that horrible a person?
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 While it is true that your uncle shouldn't have called you and started shouting and arguing, but at the same time, YOU shouldn't have responded in the way you did.
He was understandably very angry that you sent a text telling the recipient (just WHO did you send it to, anyway, and why?)broadcasting family problems, and the fact that he owes money.
I think if you do anything, you should send a letter - yes, a letter, by postal mail, and apologize for saying what you did, and asking him to forgive you. He must be very upset over your sending the text. He may well want to know why you did. It certainly doesn't sound like a bright idea.....
There is fault on both sides, but bawling him out will only makes things much worse. Give it some thought, and see if you can be the "bigger" person here by offering the olive branch.
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