A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:if a long term g/f tells you that she thinks having to call u while she is out with her friends is being up her ass, what does that mean? lol..I thinking calling each other, saying where u are going, letting each other know where u are is part of bonding in a relationship, for me anyway? It shows that you are involved with each other on a daily basis and you care about each other? am i wrong here? I hate when this trait is always considered "controlling" when men do it, yet women go a little insane when the guy is out and never calls. we have spoken about it, but she really seems to be struggling with the fact that a b/f should want a call when she gets home from being out or before she goes out, ect..I do it simply b/c I like speaking to her and it keeps the bond in my mind! is that so horribe? I have spoken to a few ppl and they said that they agree with me, especially if you are committed to one another..she has made the comment once or twice that "we aren't married", which I do fully agree, but I am trying to having a nice , caring relationship here..I need what I need from a relationship also.. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): Everybody has different preferences in regards to a relationship. It seems like her preference is to tell you she will be going out with friends, and leave it at that. Usually when girlfriends go out they are busy doing things and talking, so at that time she's into that. Maybe when you call her then, she feels interrupted? Just like if you were with her, she wouldn't want to be spending time on the phone with someone else. Sounds like your girl might be pretty independent, too, and you will either have to accept that or find someone else.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): over time, b/c she has rejected doing it, seemed like it was a bother and seemed like i was "being up her ass" i have become more and more fustrated. I spoke to her about it, it seems to get slightly better (i just have a gut feeling that it seems almost like she is going against her nature by doing it even when she does make the call) and then goes back to the same old way..I have been getting more angry about it and , yes, it makes me feel distant..i said hey we are in a committed relationship here and this simple gesture i need to make me feel that we have an understanding, bond, ect..i need things like this to move ahead, feel like we are "together" , ect..she seems to think that is being "up each other's ass"..I see this girl once a week at best and phone calls while out are "up each other's ass"? Anyway, the more bothered I get the angrier I get about the situation between us..we have had a few fights about it and it turns into "your being controlling", I just don't get it
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): any female insight?
...............................
|
