A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have become friends with a female colleague. We get along well, have a lot of 'chemistry' and have become very close. I would like us to be more than friends, but she has a boyfriend. He doesn't treat her very well (obviously my opinion is subjective). I am starting to find it difficult to work with her and hear about her relationship. It's starting to provoke negative emotions that are out of character for me.Do I tell her how I feel? If she were single and knocked me back, I would still want to be friends. We work closely together and I don't want to make either of our lives difficult. She has had a previous problem with another colleague who acted like an idiot when she rebuffed him, and her feelings were hurt, although she doesn't show it much.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 September 2010):
 This is a tricky situation that could leave a lot of people hurt, has she ever shown signs to you that she is unhappy in her relationship? if not then i think it may be best if you swallow your feelings and remain nothing but a friend to her, because if you tell her and she rejects you because of her boyfriend even though you may want to still be friends it will be awkward.
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