A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 15 year old girl and I've been in a relationship with this guy for nearly about 6 weeks. I haven't been in a relationship for a long time because every time I get passed the 'honeymoon stages' (about 6 weeks for me) I start to notice all the flaws and I cannot put them behind me. I liked this guy SO much and I still do as he is so perfect for me but I just have done the exact same thing again but I really want this relationship to work as he's so amazing. Basically, his flaws which bug me areI am his first girlfriend which makes him shy but he's actually quite a shy person anyway. I mean he's really chatty with me now etc but in other ways he's shy. Like I'll always have to go in for the kiss not him, he'll never put his arm around me etc. - I always have to put mine around him first. He never compliments me and is never spontaneous. But he always wants to see me so I don't think it's because he's not into me.. I hope not anyway. I just wish he would make me feel good by grabbing my hand or kissing me every now and then, but I always have to go in first. I hate to compare it to previous relationships (I don't have any feelings for anyone else) but previous boyfriends did, but my current boyfriend has a WAY better personality and is so right for me, I just wish he would make me feel good because I find myself feeling down about it.. what should I do? I don't want to speak to him about it as I want him to want to not feel like he has to, also it would be awkward. Thank you for any advice you can give!
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (7 November 2012):
 We have to train guys how to be responsive. Thank God you're in his life at 15 instead of 45. Yes a few guys just seem to know instinctively what to do when they're in love, others seem to fumble. Don't be afraid to tell him what you need from him. How else will he learn? But one word of caution, due to his shy nature, it may be out of his comfort zone to be showy with his affection. Hence he may have to show you in more subtle ways. You then have to decide how much of a deal breaker it is overall. This is why it's best not to settle on the first guy that comes along, he might not be the best match for you in the long run. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2012): Hi,
You can't expect the guy to read your mind, if you don't tell him what you want, how do you expect him to know? He's an awkward feeling kind of guy when it comes to any of the mushy stuff from the sound of it, so its unlikely things will ever change unless you DO tell him.
Even if he never initiates the things you want, there's nothing stopping YOU from initiating it and getting what you want that way. I'm sure he won't begrudge you a kiss or a cuddle if he's as keen to be with you as you say he is.
One more thing that I think you should take on board - NOBODY is perfect, so there's no such thing as the "perfect one" which will be to everybody's ideal taste. People lack and make up for different things in different ways, so what you may not like about a person, someone else may find attractive.
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (6 November 2012):
 Stop moaning and take control. Tell him what you want, otherwise how is he supposed to know? It takes a long long time to perfect dating techniques.
Don't worry about it being awkward, just make it sexy. If you are out, you take his hand to show you like it. If you want him to kiss you whisper in his ear how much you like his lips and want them on yours.
You be spontaneous, you be everything you want him to be. He will soon get the idea. If you are his first girlfriend then he is probably constantly worrying about what is acceptable behaviour, he probably doesn't want to push you in to anything you don't want etc. So you let him know. How else is he supposed to learn?
As much as we want them to be, men are not mind readers!
Good luck!
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