A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem and I know it's wrong but I can't stop doing it...please help.I masturbate a lot, which I guess is not that bad, but I like doing it in situations when I might get caught. Or I intentionally don't clean up probably as it gives me a rush. But I know it's wrong and perverted :(I have tried to stop but it's like I'm addicted. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (31 January 2017):
Without being harsh, this could easily end badly. Next time you're tempted to do this, imagine how you would feel if someone you knew caught you? The humiliation would be huge. Or if someone like your mum, an ordinary decent person. Seeing something like this would be deeply traumatising for a child too.
It is great that you recognise the problem and the fact that you need help. But the sooner you overcome this with professional help the better. Many people have fantasies but they are not always suitable to be acted out. Best wishes
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2017): Someone once drove beside me and followed me for miles one night. When I looked over, they were masturbating. I'm sure they got loads of pleasure out of it, but it scarred me for life & was so dangerous to others on the road. I'm not saying you would intentionally do anything, but it is so disturbing for others to see this. You need to find some other kind of turn on that doesn't upset innocent people.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (30 January 2017):
 There are people like you that get a real rush out of this type of behavior. Please consider though that your impulsiveness is dangerous, not only to yourself but also to others. If you are ever caught, you will most certainly pay a steep fine, possibly be branded as a sexual deviant, and more than likely serve time in jail. Is it worth it for a few moments of pleasure?
Have you ever considered that while "doing your thing" you could be held up at gunpoint, beaten up, or even worse?
Most eople don't take kindly to seeing someone getting their rocks off in public so there's a really good chance someone will call the cops on you if they spot you. As other aunts pointed out with the internet now...real good chance your face and body could be plastered all over the internet and that will embarrass you, your family, friends and could easily cost you your job!
The only good thing about this? You get a few moments to stop an itch for awhile...worth it? Me thinks not!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 January 2017):
 Yes, practice self control. Of course you can stop this if you actually wanted to. Thing is, you don't want to. It gives you a high, as you say. It gives you a pleasurable feeling. Why would you stop?
Unless you start associating this behaviour with negative feelings, and kill that buzz it gives you, you will have no incentive to stop.
So the question is: why do you wish to stop? Do you know why? Or are you just asking because you think you ought to stop, because others might tell you that this is wrong behaviour? If you try to change yourself because of someone else, you will not be able to do it. It doesn't work like that. If you want a change, you need to be the one who seeks it for YOURSELF. You must have something to gain, personally, in order for you to be able to make a real change.
Then you simply remind yourself of this reason to change when you are faced with temptation. And, also realize that a true change comes slowly. Do not count the times you fail to resist temptation. But count the times where you succeeded in restraining from the unwanted behaviour.
You can do this. But you must want it for yourself and your own sake. Find your reasons, the true reason behind why you want to change this behavior.
I could give you a reason that I am guessing might be one of the reasons you want to quit: what it you get caught, and it happens to be a child that catches you? What impact will that give the child, and how would making a child see you in that position make you feel? It is a form of sexual abuse towards a child to put them in that situation, and you have no control on whether it is an adult, or a child, who can end up walking in on you. Would you be able to forgive yourself if that happened?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2017): Sorry, my friend, but in almost every spot on the globe that's indecent exposure and can land you in jail! Not cleaning yourself up properly is offensive and disgusting; and highly disrespectful to women, children, and older people.
A rush doesn't negate the law. People send such things to social media these days, and you face could be recognized and cost you your job. You may be considered a sex-offender, and that would cost you everything.
I won't call you perverted, that's going too far. I will say it is indecent and illegal.
If it's an impulse and it's getting out of control. It is probably due to mental-illness. You may want to see a therapist as Honeypie suggested.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right! Thank you for the reply. I think I will look into therapy
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 January 2017):
 I don't know what sentence exposing yourself in public carries in the UK, but maybe you should look into that.
And maybe remember that YOU may enjoy it but most people around you DO NOT enjoy you jerking off in public. It's probably one of the last things people want to see.
If you feel you can't stop, talk to a therapist.
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