A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so here's the thing. I've never been close with guys before and so never had a guy friend. I'm also pretty sure I'm asexual, so that makes my love life kind of difficult. But i do want to experience relationships and everyone tells me "sometimes you have to make the first move," so now I'm thinking i want to try that. There's only one guy I've met who i actually got on pretty well with and that's because we were coworkers. I would still get nervous talking to him simply because i didn't want to say anything that made me seem stupid, BUT i really enjoyed our conversations and we always ended up laughing a lot. He's the only guy I've ever even felt a slight connection with. So i keep thinking i should initiate some kind of hang out. However there's a problem. During this last school year i got moved to a different campus office so it's been about 9 and a 1/2 months since I've last talked to him and i feel like he probably forgot about me. A while ago, I'm guessing maybe back in august or September i finally got the guts to friend him on Facebook but we still haven't talked. So my question is, if you were a guy would you feel weird if a girl from your past asked you out, seemingly from out of the blue? I would have done it sooner but i felt like he probably wasn't that interested in me otherwise he probably would have initiated something. But i feel like i lost out on a great first time opportunity/experience. Yet i feel like perhaps i felt a connection but maybe he didn't. What should i do? And how should i go about doing it?I don't know if this is worth mentioning or not not, I'm not necessarily that attracted to him physically, but I am attracted to his kind, friendly, goofy, personality. Does that make this a bad idea?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2015): I think you should send him a message on Facebook, ask him if he remembers you, then if he does ask him if he wants to meet up sometime. Or you could talk to him in person, then invite him to go out somewhere. Then, if you guys do go out, tell him how you feel, it's better to talk about it hen to just wait for him to say something about it.
But if you are not really attracted to him then I think you should just work on being friends again with him first, then maybe you be able to find him attractive.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 February 2015):
 ARE YOU CRAZY????? I've been spurned by girls up and down the East Coast of this country..... and/so, if one of them were to call me, and ask me out.... I would be at her front door immediately (or, later, if she gave me a preferred time).......
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