A
female
age
30-35,
*lice0110
writes:since august ive been talking to a guy online. hes 6 years older than me and hes turkish, lives in turkey. he is so lovely! and i find him so attractive. we would speak online every night and see eachother on webcam, nothing wrong, just faces as hes in a cafe. in september he started to become really buisy and he plays alot of football so he has training for that. at first, when i harly ever saw him i would cry so much but now, it doesnt seem to bother me yet i know i still like him as much as i did before. when he use to come online, he would always talk to me first but now, he talks to his friends and leaves me until last. when we talk he is so lovely and i really think that if we met we would get along really well. i just want to know hes still into me and i want to know why i dont get upset when i dont see him even though i know i still like him so much Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (26 November 2010):
 I just want you to read this question.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/things-arent-adding-up-and-im-confused.html
You are only 16-17, this guy could be anyone, doing any thing. Please please please be careful.
You never think these things will happen to you until it is too late.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (26 November 2010):
Hi there. This is one of the biggest problems with internet chatting.
It's all kind of magical, and you feel as though you are getting to know each other - to a point.
The real problem is you are not "with" each other face to face.
There is a gap in communication, because you have never met.
If it was to become a real relationship, you have to be able to physically be with each other. You'd want to be actually seeing each other once or twice a week on average for it to even exist as a relationship.
With internet chatting the things you CAN'T do are -
- Hold each other in your arms
- Hear their voice
- See their smile
- Spend some real time together
- Hear their laugh
- Make love
- Go out and have fun together
And many, many more things as well.
Internet chatting does not make up for a real relationship and doesn't even come close.
So internet chatting is real in one sense, but not in another.
Because you both only chat online, there is much more to both of your lives than just chatting over the internet.
Out of a 16 hour period of each day, you are probably only chatting for an hour at the most - if that. And it might not be every single day.
Because like you said, he has got football training, so you can't talk to each other then. You also have other things to do in your own life.
My suggestion to you is, to do more with your life outside of when you both chat online. Otherwise, you are going to make chatting online with him, your whole life. This will eventually make you unhappy, because you will want MORE than that.
Internet chatting can be a cause for misunderstandings, then more unhappiness as a result, because of taking things out of context. After a while, the longer you continue with it, you are both going to think about whether you would like to meet - or end it altogether.
You can only continue with internet chatting for so long, because sooner or later, you are both going to run out of things to say to each other and will find yourself just going over the same old things again and again. If it does come to that, well then it's going to be decision time for you - meet up, or end it once and for all.
After a while these internet chat sessions, will seem a bit boring and pointless and you might even talk to each other less often, and both find yourselves waiting for a reply that might not come.
When it does get to this stage, it's a sign that you are both feeling the restriction of not being able to see each other. And if you do decide never to meet, then it's at that point where it will probably die a natural death.
These are just a few things I thought were necessary for you to consider regards the future of this type of communication.
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