A
female
 ,
*cherryx
writes:Hi, please help me.recently iv got to get a know a school mate really well, i havent told anyone but ive started to grow strong feelings for him. im adicted to speaking to him and i can tell him anything because he listens to me. hes the nicest most genuine boy i know.however something is holding me back, because he isnt in my group of friends and we are both very different i feel we wouldnt be acepted if we were together. this sounds horrible and a selfish thing to say but its true.please could you give me some advice and i would be most greatfull.love, v Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (31 July 2006):
 I think friends generally try to help you by giving you their opinions however there is still the issue of slfish people who want to prevent you to get into a relationship in case they lose you as a going out device or as a 24 hour agony aunt or something, I think you should have a go to see if you're interested dear, don't stress too much man completely different to our friends' circle do normally look mysterious but in the end they are sometimes fools, have a go and have fun! it's summer
love
Astrid
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2006): Though I would like to completely agree with Suorpio and Wild Thiang, I would like to make a deviant suggestion and say forget about the boy. I went out with someone like that and everything her friends thought mattered. It caused so much crap in our relationship that to this day, I wondered how I could have allowed such a mentally weak female do all that to me. You see, I have my own friends, they have their opinions of the women I date, but that's their opinion. I have my own. However, geez, no, I totally suggest you just leave the boy alone and go on to find someone your friends approve of. I think it would be much better for his heart.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (27 July 2006):
 It's possibly too early in the game to say this, but are you going to let your friends dictate who you wish to date?
You're young, so you will define yourself through your social circle. I did it when I was your age and it made me treat a girlfriend quite rudely during and after our breakup. It haunts me to this day.
I learned an important lesson back then - if I care too much about what others think then I may end up not liking who I see in the mirror.
It's your choice on how to proceed. Good luck and take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2006): Your friends may be more tolerant than you think. At the very least, if they're your friends they'll do you the courtesy of PRETENDING to be. It also sounds like he has enough likeable qualities about him to befriend your circle. Give it a shot.
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