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I like him but he's the ex of a good friend of mine. Will I get hurt?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I like this boy who likes me. We play on the same sand volleyball league and have hung out with each other outside of volleyball. We've kissed, but that's the extent of what we've done. He seems to be a good guy, he's funny, and we get along great.

There's a catch - he's the ex-boyfriend of a good friend of mine. I always thought that I'd never be able to date an ex of a friend (I really wouldn't want to think about their history which would happen if I KNEW part of his history). My friend has said that she's over him but she doesn't want me to date him because he doesn't believe in marriage, he's athiest, and she told me if we did start dating she'd be surprised if we lasted more than six months. She is still friends with him but says he's not datable material.

She says I should turn him down and tell him I'm not interested because if I don't then I'm going to get hurt. But I AM interested. I can't help it. I know I shouldn't be but I am. I do trust her since she knows him better and for longer, but do I just not even try because I could get hurt? Isn't that going to hurt too?

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A female reader, diobolicmuphin United States +, writes (21 June 2009):

Clearly your friend is NOT over this guy. Personally, I don't believe in dating friends' exes, simply because I cherish my friends and what we've built. If you're willing to risk your friendship for something that you think may be a good idea, go for it. I wouldn't.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (21 June 2009):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntI was reading an article today about men. He probably told her that he doesn't believe in marriage, because he doesn't want to marry HER. If there relationship got really bad, he probably told her a bunch of things just to repel her to get her to leave.

I don't know.

However, don't date him. He's your friend's ex! She sounds like she's making up a bunch of bull because she still has feelings for him, and is afraid to admit to those feelings.

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