A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hey, i have a bit of a problem. iv been going out with my boyfriend for just over 3 years. he is a really lovely guy and we are best friends. the thing is that lately iv been having some doubts about the whole thing. i think im feeling a bit fed up and bored with having a boyfriend, before this i was with another guy for nearly 2 years with only a few months of being single in between. i sort of feel like id like to be by myself for a while. i dont want to go on a break or anything cos i dont want to mess him around but i dont know if i want to break up with him either. wev been having some sex problems as well. the whole way through the relationship i have been the one to initiate things, we both live at home with parents so you have to kind of plan things. i would always be the one to try to arrange things. i spoke to him about how this made me feel he wasnt putting any effort in and that maybe he wasnt interested in me that way but he said that he was and that things would change but they havent.That was about a year ago now. iv given up initiating things, thinking that this would make him try harder but it hasnt. we havent slept together for nearly 5 months. the thing that really upsets me is that he knows how much it gets to me and doesnt do anything about it. he says sex isnt everything and i know he's right but i really dont see how the relationship can last long-term if this is how things are going to be from now on. i'm only 21 and i dont want to give up that whole side of my life at such a young age because it is important to me. i feel like id be settling. if i love someone then i want to show them by being with them like that. what do you think i should i do? should i just break up with him and get it over with or try to stick it out? when im with him things are ok but when im not this is all i can think about and its driving me crazy. i just dont know what to do, he doesnt seem to think its a problem but its making me so sad.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (11 February 2007):
 Sex isnt everything but you are also right, its a part of a loving relationship. It may not be politically correct to say so but sex is important. You have already talked to him but he doesnt seem to have responded, obviously its a problem if it is making you feel sad and he should see it as so.
However, I think its pretty clear that you do care about this guy so I think you owe it to him and yourself to talk to him once more. Maybe you should tell him that things need to improve for the relationship to survive. Hope that helps. Take care.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (11 February 2007):
Sex isnt everything but you are also right, its a part of a loving relationship. It may not be politically correct to say so but sex is important. You have already talked to him but he doesnt seem to have responded, obviously its a problem if it is making you feel sad and he should see it as so.
However, I think its pretty clear that you do care about this guy so
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