A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am confused about my guy-friend. I really like him as more than a friend, and for a while, thought he liked me too. We are pretty tight, we text every day, we talk on the phone for hours (i "make him feel like a girl ;)" for talking to me for 3-4 hours at a time) and we just seem to click. I was told about a gf, though, and it crushed me. Since i found out about her (it's been a little more than 2 months), nothing between us has changed. We still talk all the time, he still says things to me that just seem like he really could like me(he tells me i'm smart, i'm a great person, talking to me/my smile makes him feel better, things like this all the time, which i guess i've misread, and he's just being nice and a good friend!? he carried my backpack, he walked me to my car because he "didn't want the conversation to end"..) is he really just interested in a platonic relationship with me? how can i find out without asking him or ruining anything? I really want to be more than friends, but obviously, he has a gf, and i am not going to cross any lines there, but any suggestions? thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank all of you for your answers, they all helped me a lot :) I think I will wait it out, and see what happens. we're only juniors in highschool, so who knows what's going to happen. we're great friends, and all my friends are calling me "the other woman" which i immediately put to a stop, because i dont want to be called that :b but i think it's showing we have something there. So thanks again everyone, i'll just continue being his buddy until he is available, and if it doesnt happen, it doesnt happen. Thank you all :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): why worry about what is oging to happen? the curiousity wont kill, but as it is said, expect the least. thats what i did when i was in this situation, the guy was dating this chick for like 2 yrs and shes head-girl material- good at everythinhg. after 7 months of thinking about him day and night, when i finally gave up, he broke up with her and 2 months later we got together. however, this doesnt happen often, if he's got a girlfriend then you dont know what to expect. HOwever, you obviously wont wanna lose a friend. so keep it as it it, time will decide what you should do.-zinz
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): I have been in this situation way too many times. And i'm gonna tell you from what i've experinced. The chances of him leaving his gf for you are quite slim. (i'm not ruling out the possibility) but most guys want to "have their cake and eat it too".
which leads you to the next thing that is normally suggested. Friends with Benefits. Now, i'm not condoning this in the least. It is rather exciting. But, you will always, always, be second. And it really isn't much fun at all being the "other girl". which i'm sure you are figuring out right now. plus, if you get caught. all kinds of drama is released!! and since you have such strong feelings for him, you will most likely get really hurt by this option.
you can always tell him how you feel. if you guys are as good of friends as you say you are, then he should be able to understand. maybe you could do it less openly. like by doing the "what if" game. just slip it in there. like "what if we were together?" or something like that. just so you can get a true feel for how he would respond when you told him your true feelings.
then you can always just keep your friendship and wait for his current relationship to end. this is the hardest answer, but may ultimately be the best one.
whatever you choose i hope it works out for the best. good luck!
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A
female
reader, lisa1213x  +, writes (4 August 2009):
 wait till he dosnt have a girlfriend then try holding his hand hugging or kissing him and just see how he reacts
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): hi,i understand how you feel i found out someone i like had a girlfriend and it does crush you.( a awful panic feeling in the stomach). and i have many male friends who i get on really well with.who have done similar things to me and i have done for them.he must be fond of you if he does these things so something could be there. i think you have a good relationship already which is always good. and only becuase he has a gf does not mean he does not have any feelings for you( been there before). so i think there is a spark. good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): wait..he may like two of you at the same time, you'll have to wait for their relationship to end and then ask..sorry
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