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male
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*penyoureyes
writes: ive been with my girl friend for almost 2 years im attracted to her personality , but im not Physically attracted to her, and that makes me look at other girls , and im not as affectionate as i could be with someone that i would be more turned on by so what im i supose to do, also she isnt social butter fly,and she isnt an active person , and doesnt do the extra things that other girls do to make themselves attractive like hair, gym, dress, what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (2 October 2006):
 I've always believed in alot of situations your attraction to someones personality can assist in becoming physically attracted to them, in your case it hasn't, I understand you like this girl for who she is which alot of us woman want that from a man but you are cheating her out of being with someone that can be attracted to her completely in everyway by settling and putting up with the fact something is missing from your relationship.
You also say you've been together 2 years but not once do you mention love, I know and understand we don't all fall in love easily but 2 years and you just like this girl pretty much like you would a mate.
I think you should realise that something is missing from your relationship and move on, you both deserve to be with someone that can be with you and attracted too 100% in everyway.
Good luck :o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2006): Why were u with her in the first place? Are you really that desperate? Come on, I have a lot of female friends who have great personalities. Does that mean I should go for every single one of them? No. It just means that I can relate and communicate with them a lot better.
Being attracted to someone because of personality as the primary is great, but being together with that person solely for those reasons may seem 'honorable' at first, but if you require more than just a mental connection such as the obvious physical connection, then I say this girl isn't right for you.
If she isn't willing to improve on her externals, and this lack of progression turns you off, then you can simply break up with her. I mean geebus! Why are you even asking "What to do?" It just annoys the nuts and bolts out of me that you would ask this question in the first place.
What are your most obvious choices? 1) give her a chance and see where it goes, 2) motivate her by inviting her to your hobbies and events, and even see what she would like to do - try to help her find her own niche, etc, 3) leave.
I'm sure there are some aunts and uncles who think I am shallow for giving this sort of advice. Then again, if the whole world wasn't based around attraction to achieve a relationship, to achieve love sometime in the future, then we might as well be literally blind. There is a reason why we picked an RX7 over a Caravan, or why we picked an Apple computer over a PC computer, or why we picked whitish beige walls over dirt mustard green walls.
Sometimes, we need a moderate balance between physical appearances, mental and emotional traits, interests, hobbies, and rate of possible progression with someone.
So what do YOU want to do?
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