A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years. We have always had different 'lifestyles' but it has started to become a problem. I am very social and like to do things and go out with friends. He likes to stay at home. Anyone have any suggestions on how to make this relationship work with different lifestyles and interests? Everything else about the relationship works great! Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (27 September 2007):
 As long as he lets you have the freedom to go out when you want to, it may not be an issue. I was involved with a guy like this once and at first, I chalked it up to "opposites attract" and he did let me go out with my friends without throwing a fit. But eventually I realized we were spending more time apart than together because we simply wanted different things in life -- I had to end it after that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): They do say that opposites attract, and this would appear to be true of you two!
You don't say why your different attitudes are becoming a problem, so I can only guess that he wants you to stay at home with him and you want him to go out with you. If so, you'll have to find a common interest that you can both enjoy, or better still, two interests - one that means you stay at home to do it, the other by going out.
It's generally called 'Give & Take'.
You've managed two years together so far, so the relationship must have been fairly ok until recently. Has anything else changed other than what you've mentioned? If so, you might have to work on that aspect.
Phil
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): Invite people over for dinner, it may sound old fashioned but if there are three couples each one can bring a course. You could also go to one friends house for starters, another house for main course and end at your for dessert.
Go out early evening to the cinema, for drinks, theatre or a bar and come home for a bubble bath or champagne in bed. Find places that play live music and go watch them. If your boyfriend just doesn't like the clubbing scene (I empathise) get friends over more often. Set a night asside each month to go out with your friends clubbing.
Do you like outdoor stuff? Get loads of fresh air in the day and make each other a nice meal in the evening.
You have to start by knowing what each other likes doing really, so start with talking about that as well as things you might like to try together for the first time. Perhaps he would be happy to go out early in the evening as I suggested and focus your social life around your home more. Good luck.
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