A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:okay I like to have fun conversation with boys. I like to flirt and laugh. When I do this everybody tells me I need a boyfriend. I don't want a boyfriend because that means getting physical. I don't want to get physical, making out and heavy petting is okay I guess. I just like flirting dating and romance and foreplay but I don't like sex.I like romance I like flowers I like free things like a walk in the park. I like long conversations. I crave the emotional and romantic connection but apparently that is not allowed if you don't want sex. I think I am a sexual. how do I find somebody then? I was told that I have to give up the flirting, the romance and all that if I hate sex. I cannot be platonic with boys bc I prefer to read or go running and I hate video games and sports that involve balls. I like to be cute and funny. Am I just wrong all around?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2016): I don't know where you get the idea that getting a boyfriend means getting physical. If you're not ready, you're just not. It's ok to date others to see if your personalities match. I also don't know where you get the idea that romance is apparently not allowed unless you also want sex. It is possible :) All you have to do is say no, you aren't interested in sex until you are ready. If the guy you are dating is not willing to wait, then it's better if you part ways. Only you know what you want, your friends cannot tell you what you want or how things "ought to be". I have many friends who have dated for a year or two, sometimes even waiting until marriage before they have sex. It's a matter of meeting the right guy who shares the same values as you :) It might be difficult (perhaps guys around your age are more interested in sex? At least that's what I have from experience. ), but it isn't impossible. Like you I also like reading and running and I'm not a fan of video games. I don't like team sports too but I've dated guys who were gamers or from the soccer team who had weekly soccer practices. It's ok to not like the same things, you just need to support each other and compromise on certain things. All the best!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2016): If course you can have a relationship without sex... it just sucks for most people because sex and intimacy is the most natural way to express romantic love for another person.You are young... sex is going to be on your mind a lot, but it isn't something that needs to take up 100 percent of your life.When you meet someone and after a date or ywo or even a moment, sex seems like the most natural way of expressing your feelings towards each other... that is when you will stip hating sex.Right now you are feeling pressured because many people your age are already having sex or not having sex (more likely) and bragging to hide the fact they are not.Find someone you find attractive for whatever reason, go on a date or two, see if you enjoy each others company, see if the spark is there.And remember... relationships are about compromise, you want to have SOME differences and some different likes... he might like sports and you don't, the point is to support each other in your differing likes and dislikes.
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