A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi!I need some help. This isn't really a relationship problem. But, I really need some input on this. I'm going in to 10th grade next year and I just started drinking. Is this bad? I just feel really pressured with my friends because my four best friends both drink and alot of other people in my grade do too!Personally, I hate the taste of alcohol, but I like drinking. Also, when my cousin that lives kind of far away visits, we hang out with my friends. But, she doesn't know that we drink, and she thinks drinking is bad. Please give me your advice on this!Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): You still can't blame your friends either. In the end it's your choice- unless of course they hold a gun to your head. Then technically its still your choice: drink or die. Either way I doubt they are doing that. It's very good that your parents don't condone your behaivour. Parents teach us things for a reason, and their are laws for a reason as well. Why not stand up for yourself? There is an old song that goes: "You gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything" You are young, you will figure it out one day I just hope it's not too late. Maybe its fun at first, but when social drinking graduates to alcoholism... its just not the way your story should end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again,
I undertand your point. But, even though it sometimes may be the parents fault, it is not in my case. My parents have never give me any alcohol. They also have always told me stories of bad situation alcohol senarioes and raised me and my brother with very goo consciences. I feel that many times teens consciences get worse when they surround themselves with friends that do not make very good choices. Also, not just my close friends, but most girls and boys my age living in my area drink. Also, nobody complained that my friends were blamed because in most cases, including mine, friends are to blame. People make their descisions based on what the people that surround them do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): I'm the anonymous that blamed the parents. First of all there is a big difference between being "taught" and being "told." I was taught underage drinking was no good so I stayed away, and as I'm 26 now- I only drink MAYBE once a month, and thats an exaggeration. Not because I'm still living under my parents shadow, but because from an early age things like common sense and moral values were instilled in me. I never had to ask a question about whether drinking was bad or not because I was taught the answer, not just told. I'm not saying its ALL your parents fault, of course you make your own choices, and everyone makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect, I know. This is really just standing my ground against whoever it was that said you cant blame the parents. Why not blame the parents? Nobody complained when she blamed her friends. One day you will realize everything that happens in your life is because of you. Other people just influence your choices, you are the one who actually makes the choice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again,
(I ased this question)
Thank you very much Betty, SY, Dr.T and those anonymous writers. Your advice has really helped me. I really didn't think of the consequences of drinking, but after hearing your stories I really understand why I shouldn't give in to my friends. Also, I would really like to tell everybody that my parents raised me very well. They never gave me alcohol, nor know that I have drinken before. It is not their fault, please do not think otherwise. I guess I just really wanted to "grow up" and do something new, daring and adventerous that my parents would not like me doing. Anyway, I'm really going to try not to drink because I reaize that I have alot going for me in my life right now that I would'nt want to mess up. Thanks so much for your help!
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female
reader, betty_black  +, writes (29 June 2009):
 its easy for people to place the blame on the parents but alot of the time kids do it to rebel against their parents morals and values and what they've taught them, i know thats why i did it personally. So dont place it on the parents here, these are her choices and its her life.
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reader, Dr T  +, writes (29 June 2009):
I started drinking about your age. By time I was in my late teens/early twenties I was a hardened drinker, I could drink almost everyone I knew (including much older men) under the table and thought that it was cool, that I was a 'real man'.. I have been arrested, woken up in jail with no idea how I got there...been to funerals of my friends who were killed drinking and driving, woken up in hospital, woken up on the street robbed, woken up in bed with women I dont even know who there were or how I meet them. Lost jobs, lost good girlfriends, lost good friends, lost my drivers licence at one point...dropped out of college, lost the respect of my family, lost my self respect,lost YEARS of my life.. I finally broke down and cried like a baby for weeks because I had to admit to myself that I am an alcoholic and if I continued to drink I would be most likely dead in a few years...real manly huh? Pretty cool or pretty sad?
My story is a an indication of what can go wrong. A few drinks now and then is fine for some people, but things can go wrong really quickly for others. I understand the peer pressure, I felt I was a big man and cool and got cooler the more I drank with my boozing buddies. I didnt realise that other people were looking at me with pity or disgust.
So many more things you can do that are so much fun and dont involve alcohol. Look about you: look at people who drink, then look at people who dont ..who looks better? Who seems more relaxed and happier ALL the time? Sure you feel great when you are drinking but there is the inevitable come down and the long term damage to your health.
There is so so much I would change and do if I had those years to live again but I cant and its a regret I will always carry with me. You are lucky, you have these fantasic years in front of you now, make the most of them.
Be safe, enjoy life
Dr T
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): I hate to say it but drinking can be fun, especially when your doing it underage behind your folks back. BUT there is a reason why the drinking age is 21. I myself i didnt start drinking till i was 18 and i look back and think, "wow! what a effin, idiot!" there were so many things i did or said when drinking or was drunk that i regret till this day. and thats just something i just have to live with.I also remembered getting pressured into doing things i really wasnt interested in(illegal and somethings creepy things) but i did them anyway because i felt my friends would talk trash or make fun of me, and the easiest thing to do was, well, do it! But the thing is, those type of people are NOT your friends. yes it sounds corny but it is the truth. and im not gonna lie, its hard, very hard to say no, BUT it is definatley worth it. you will thankyourself later! Take the time and be a kid! go to the movies, go to concerts, dress crazy, roll down a hill, jump in the huge water fountain at the mall, ANYTHING that doesnt involve drinking. Im only 25 and id give anything to be 15 again, your only a kid once, so do me HUGE a favor and TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Drinking is not a good thing to get into at your age, You should be focused on school and friends and family and really just "finding yourself." A lot of kids who start at this age don't do very well and become to dependent on the alcohol. Not to mention.. it is beyond illegal at your age. You have a good 6 years at least before you're allowed to drink. You may experience an alter in your presonality and find that you don't really like who you've become. You also may find yourself in bad situations in which people (men most likely) will try to take advantage of you, and you need to be aware enough of yourself and your surroundings to get out of those situations. It's just not safe honey..
My husband drank a lot before we met. He stopped upon joining the army, but he tells me he regrets those days more than any others. He said he just wasn't himself and acted like a jerk when he was drunk, but didn't even realize it. Just be careful. Drinking has an age limit for a reason. I know you want to have fun, but you don't have to push every limit out there.
~Sy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Your friends dont sound like very good friends. I wouldnt even associate with someone who pressured me to do something I didnt want to do, much less be their friend. It's all your choice, nothing anyone says here will change your mind if you've already got it made up. I think you know its bad, otherwise you wouldnt be asking. Studies have shown that drinking while your body and your mind are still devoloping (like at your age) that it impairs brain development. If you want to still think and reason with the brain power of a 15 year old when you're 35 then keep it up. Like I said its all your choice. I'm not even going to mention all the trouble you can get into with the law, or how your decision making abilities are impaired when it comes to things like sex or drugs, or driving. These are things your parents should have taught you, obviously they havent been doing a very good job in raising you.
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reader, betty_black +, writes (29 June 2009):
I dont know what tenth grade is the equivalent of over here, but looking at the age stated your still so young! Ill let you in on something. I started drinking heavily at 14, i got alcohol poisoning twice and ended up in alot of situations i didnt wanna be in, believe you me. Alcohol is my evil, and i dont believe it does anybody any good! You are too young to be drinking anything alcohol based, it wont do anything but get you into a lot of trouble. Dont let friends pressure you. I was pressured into drinking alot when my friends didnt drink anything because i was known as the "mad one" or the "rebel" and i was sick as a dog on many occasions and didnt feel too good the day after either! Alcohol might seem fun and like a laugh but it really isnt. And you dont even enjoy drinking it! Well neither do i, and now i can finally say that i dont want a drink, and i pretty much dont drink at all. So stand up to these so called friends, if they are friends they wont pressure you anyway. Let them be the fools and you stop now while you have the chance! Remain a kid while you still are one, because in a few years when its legal for you to drink you wont want to go out clubbing or whatever because you'll have done it all before! Trust me, im at an age now where i should be out clubbing but i hate drink because of my younger years!
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