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age
30-35,
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writes: Dear Cupid, I was 13 years old in the year of 2005, possibly to young to understand the word love. I met two young boys,my age, one day chatting on the internet. One of which took my number and started texting each other almost all the time. Now at the time we were both living in ny, he was from the bronx, I stayed on long island. We started a friendship and was to hopefully meet up some day, as dangerous as that sounds now it never happened. I ended up moving to Florida a month later, and yet we still managed to keep a friendship. At this time he was the only friend i had in a new town and I started to slowly like him more. After awhile of long nights on the phone and texting each other during high school, we had started a relationship. I was a freshman in high school then, he was in his last year of middle school. It was a long distance telephone relationship and since we were so young we didn't care. Since all that started we never once seen a picture of each other, he was the first to send a few, but I would never send any because I wasnt exactly the best looking at my age. I decided to finally send him a picture one day, but of a girl he would expect to see, rather then actually seeing me. He bought it and we continued growing a long distance relationship. We eventually broke up after a couple of years and some how still kept in contact after all we did fall in love. Then one night after having a regular conversation with him, he asked me to send him a picture. I put myself at fault, a dead end, trapped myself in a box. I had no pictures of that girl who he thought I was, and being the prideful person I am, I didn't want to admit it to him, so I tried ignoring him. He would continuously call or text me, leave voice mails hoping I was ok. After almost a year of ignoring him I broke. I told him the truth and sent him picture of who I am now and explained to him why I had lied for so long. I'm 20 years old now, and we now have know each other for almost seven years. But now that I had kept a secret from.him for so long, hes not the same with me. I don't blame him, he has all right to be. And now I just want to know what is going on in his mind. If I can erase time I would have never lied to him about my apearence. Everything we use talk about was true and I truly fell in love with him because he was just like me. What can I do to make him open up to me? I want to see him in person but on a special day. How can I make someone who had such an impact on my life understand that I want them back? If not now but eventually.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 October 2011):
 Give him space. Then in some time, maybe a year or more (he needs loads of space away from you right now) contact him again. Tell him you are sorry, you were young and stupid, but that you genuinely care for him and enjoyed your friendship. Ask if you can have that friendship back. Do not ask for anything else.
You did do something very stupid by lying to him, but at the time you were young, and we all do stupid things. You also didn't know how important he'd be to you. And as most teenagers you were embarrassed about your looks. I knew a guy online when I was 14 and we talked for around two-three years and he even sent me a birthday gift with a handwritten card (I still have that card), and a watch and several other things. It was lovely. When I was 17 I was in the area where he lived and sent him a text. He knew beforehand that I'd be around and wanted to meet him. I had never seen a picture of him and he'd never seen a picture of me.
He never replied, and I haven't heard from him since then. I think he was embarrassed about his looks, and way too scared to face me, even though all we were were friends. I was bummed at the time, as I wouldn't have cared. But I understand how you as a teenager can be very insecure.
You wanted to impress the guy you liked, who doesn't. You never thought it'd make a difference in the world. However, it was a lousy thing to do, and I don't blame him for being very very hurt. The sad thing is that he probably wouldn't have cared how you looked.
But there is no point in crying over spilled milk. These things happen in life! People mess things up, we make errors, but we learn and move on as better people. You aren't going to do this again, so you have learned. Hopefully you've also started to like your own appearance.
But you need to let this young man go. He belonged to an era of your life, and now you have entered a new era. Do not cry over it or feel too down because of it. If you and him were meant to be you will find your way back together. As for now cherish the good memories and remember him as a good friend.
I had friends I were close with when I was a child, or young teenager, friends who I am separated from now. We grew apart. That's what people do. Things happen in life, and even though I miss the friendships we had I need to cherish the memories of what were, and look ahead instead of trying to go back into the past. There are new friends ahead in the future, and new boyfriends for you to be with. And now, thanks to an old friend, you have grown and learned some life lessons.
You'll be alright. This isn't the end of the world. And with some years time he will forgive you in his heart, even if you never speak again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2011): This is a tough one because the lie lasted for so long. He's had this image in his head forever and it was all a lie. I understand feeling that you were not good looking, I feel that way, too. And I see you understand that it was the wrong choice.
I'm not sure how to repair that. At least you are not an old man or something at this point, but you have proven a huge point of the internet. You were able to hide your true physical identity for 7 years without much effort at all! Even with things like facebook etc coming into the picture....
I say give him some time. Maybe send him an actual letter of apology. But back off really and wait to see what happens. You may never get back what was lost.
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