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female
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anonymous
writes: I know that it is wrong! but i lied about my age (only by one year) to a boy that i never thought id get close to.However, we are really close now and he still thinks i am older than i am.I dont want him to see me as a lier because usualy i wouldnt do something like that and im pretty sure if he found out he wouldnt trust me the same.Should i keep it a secret and hope that he never finds out or tell him? If you think i should tell him, what would be the best way?thanx for your help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 February 2006):
 You definitely have to tell him, because he definitely will find out.
How, for example, are you going to invite him to your 18th birthday party, when you're only going to be 17 and everyone else knows it, and your cake says "Happy 17th"?
If you don't tell him, and everyone else in your life knows the truth, he's going to feel like a dill when he eventually catches on to your lie. And that won't help him to trust you in future.
So the best way to go about it is to remember the old dictum, "Honesty is the best policy". (There's a reason why cliches get to be cliches. They're usually good.) Why did you lie in the first place? Was it because he's older than you? Was it because you wanted him to think you were more mature than you were? Was it a prank?
Find your answer within yourself and tell him the truth, something like, "Nathan, I have to confess that I told you something that wasn't true. It's been bothering me that I wasn't honest, so I'd like to clear the air now. I didn't tell you my right age, because I thought you'd like me better if I was older..."
Whatever your reason was, state it, don't waffle or drag it out, then apologise for the lie. Explain to him why you did it, and why you wouldn't ever do that to him again. After that, you need to be sure that you remember what you said, and stick to it.
It's not hard. Just be honest.
Good luck.
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