A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I lied to my ex by telling him I was pregnant and aborted the baby. I only did it to hurt him because I found out he was sleeping with my friend. I know it's horrible and at the time it made me feel good to hurt him like he hurt me, but now I feel terrible should I come clean and tell him I made it up or just let it go?
View related questions:
abortion, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): I think the best way to handle this is to write it down in a short note that you were devastated that he and your friend betrayed you so you told him about the abortion (knowing how that would make him feel) to hurt him.Tell him that you cared enough to apologize for that and did not want him going through life thinking that you did such a thing without telling him first.Wish him well, and then never contact him again. He wasn't worth it, but no one deserves that kind of a lie, it is something he would live with for the rest of his life, it was mean, cruel, irresponsible, vindictive, mean spirited, rude, unconscionable and born out of your broken heart, still it is time to make it right for your sake and for his.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): Absolutely. I can't imagine the guilt and rage he must feel for thinking that you ended the pregnancy so unilaterally w/o considering the baby's life and his decision on the matter. Regardless, you have caused him to never trust you again. In the future do not let someone else's acts dictate your response. Always act with a clear head and a clear conscience will guide your actions. The fact that he slept with another woman shows you he was unworthy of you and your friend is nothing of the sort. Fire both from your life. They violated your trust. It's harsh but it must be done. The fact that your response was so mean shows you were incredibly hurt by the double betrayal.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (14 November 2009):
I think you should only tell him if you still somehow speak with him and he has told you that it bothers him. Otherwise, if he's your ex, just let it go. What's done is done and there is no sense in bringing that stuff up if you two are over and no longer speak to one another.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): You can tell him you made it up. He'll most likely hate you forever. But I guess you dont need him in your life when all you do is hurt each other. We all live and learn from our mistakes.
...............................
A
female
reader, Legioness  +, writes (14 November 2009):
 Yes, it is a horrible, horrible thing to do.. I think you should come clean, specially if it helps you to find some kind of closure from it? I'd also recomment seeking the advice of a counsellor, it must've hit pretty deep for you to go and say something like that. Talking through everything with a professional could help :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (13 November 2009):
 Yes you should tell him it was a lie! You might be able to just let it go, but he cant - as far as he's concerned he's lost a child, and nobody should have to go through those sorts of emotions, and especially not if its all fictional.
I can understand why at the time you were angry and wanted to lash out at him, but I think its time to put it right.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): Hard to say but I try to always tell the truth because I would want to know the truth if it was the other way around.
...............................
|
