A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Where do i start? What is the difference between being mentally abused and battered? My husband puts me down all the time. Anything i do is never good enough. He yells and me and calls me names. He embarrasses me in front of his guy friends and his family. He gets physical with me, doing things like pushing me or putting his hands around my neck. He will twist my arms behind my back until i cry. He says if it doesnt leave a bruise there is no proof. He has a drug and alcohol problem. It doesnt get physical unless he is drunk. But then he will go for weeks and sometime even a few months being completly normal. Then he just goes off the deep end agin and starts acting crazy. He has been to jail for several times for stupid things. We live in a small town and all the cops know who he is from his trouble. I have called the police on him a couple times and his parents called me and told me i was in the wrong for putting him in jail. They will hardly speak to me for having him arrested. They believe he does no wrong. I have tried to convince them that he has a problem. He laughs at me when i cry. Im really just so confused, he pulls me back and forth. I feel like im in this visious circle that just never ends. I have no self esteem. His friends have all told me to stop putting up with it im too pretty. But i just dont feel that way because he tells me otherwise and it sticks in my head. I know i could get any guy i wanted so why the hell do i stay with him???
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank yall...both answers are great and have helped me. I will keep updated what i decide to do. Thanks agin.
A
female
reader, thumpgirl +, writes (16 August 2009):
Girl, I know exactly where you are at right now, I have been there, it got so bad with my ex and I called the police all the same you went through, he had drug and alcohol problem everything, I was so in love with him but I couldn't stand feeling so disrespected all the time, I broke up with him and threw him out of my apt. hoping and praying that would wake him up and he would get help and act right because when we loved each other without that crap it was right, I wanted him to care enough about me to go out and do it, so I did and guess what he did, there was some other girl waiting in the wings with his drugs and alcohol and took him in to live with her and her 2 kids, boy was that a slap in the face, I couldn't believe it, he didn't want to get back with me or anything, he loved his drugs and alcohol more than me and believe me I am very pretty and smart, just not smart when it comes to relationships, there's always some other sucker girl to pick up the pieces and it's true. I was one of those too. Boy have I learned alot about this stuff. You need to get out of it with him and see what he does, if he does what my ex did with another girl, you don't need him and he's not man enough to shape up and change for you and him to have a respectful relationship and you are exactly right. It is a vicious circle, I've been in it most of my life with alot of boyfriends and it sucks. We need peace and harmony, take it from one girlfriend who knows. I pray for you in your situation, I'm not religious but I think you need to turn to your higher power and listen inside yourself what your spirit is telling you. You sound really sweet too, be happy and enjoy the life around you!! You have a beautiful spirit.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): It gets comfortable being with the same person and you may keep hoping things will change. Well, it may change for the worse.
Not sure if you are staying because you fear you can't make it on your own (you can), it's good sex (you CAN find that elsewhere), you love him (his actions show his love is not what you want) or whatever reason you may create to stay...
You need to leave or he WILL bring you down. I have been there. Make up your mind and don't change it, because it will not get better........
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