A
female
age
41-50,
*aCu78
writes:I fell in love with a woman abt 6yrs back - never even thinking whe knew I existed - she was already in a relationship. We became friends and shortly after we'd been out as a group of friends when she just kissed me out of the blue. I eventually told her one night a while after the first incident exactly how I felt about her and that I was very much in love with her. That night we were intimate.Incidences where she would kiss me or hold my hand or just hold me happened quite often over the next 2 odd years - whe never said to me she didn't feel for me as I did for her, she would simply say she couldn't be with me because she was already in a relationship.I told her once again one day that I loved her and would give her anything her heart desired - she told me then that she did not feel the same about me and that she was in fact in love with someone else. Then her 'advances' stopped and a while after she left her girlfriend for someone else. The have now been together for about 2years and this woman I love is now cheating on her current partner with someone else. I am having great difficulties in accepting that I was used as I was, that I am not good enough for this woman. I can't move on from her - I feel like I am going crazy as I can not get her out of my head, I still get upset when seeing her with the person she is now cheating with on her girlfriend....I know in my head that she does not deserve someone like me and yet I can not move on?? Please help me - how do I deal with this issue?
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female
reader, TaCu78 +, writes (21 April 2009):
TaCu78 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanx so much to Vixey and Armywife for your advice. Sometimes one just needs an outsiders opinion and a push. You've helped a great deal. :-)
A
female
reader, Vixey  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 I know it will be difficult but in a nutshell, bite your lip, move on, move away if need be.
You can't keep putting yourself through this torment, you deserve better.
People like her are never happy, cut that part of your life out & start again. Life is what you make it, don't allow others to make a life for you.
Smiles - Vixey.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Well i'm so glad that you realize you don't deserce this, as there are a lot of people on this site who need to be convinced that they are too good... so that is a lovely start to getting on the right track.
The feeling of "love" can be a very confusing one. I believe that love is when you endear all the qualities of a person and think of them often in a romantic way, and are willing to give up everything for them and would not want to change anything about them. So how can you lov her? maybe some of these stand true, but you can't love all of her qalities, as she is a cheating, teasing, small-hearted, lyeing backstabber... to put it bluntly! Maybe if you remind yourself over and over and over again that not onyl is she not good enough for you, but she's not a nice person, or a good person for anyone to be with!
Healing does take time though. so put her in a box (her pictures i mean, if you have them) and go out with some guy friends and talk aboout women. The worst thing i believe you can do is sit and think about her. Stay as busy as possible and one day, you will think about her less. and one day after that, even less, and eventually, she will only cross your mind a couple times, and even more eventually, she will maybe once, but you will think nothing of it. Be patient with youself. Human hearts are fragile. Especially after being torn apart by evil forces.. lol. I really hope this is of some help to you.
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