A
female
age
36-40,
*rdinary Girl
writes:"Wondering"I met this guy since i came here in Macau through our common friends. It's actually my guy friend who introduce me to him since that time that certain guy was looking for a vocalist for their band. It was like a sabotage thing because at first i was kind of feeling shy everytime they're going to record my voice.so, my guy friend did was he ask our other friends to have a drink on seaside and basically we went off there and had fun and jamming with my other friends guitar. unknowingly he hide his phone and tried recording my voice. After 2 days my guy friend meet up with this certain guy and he secretely let him listen to the recording and surprisingly he liked it alot. so this certain guy was asking my guy friend to introduce me to him. so they planned to have a jamming session. and i did came there and somehow share my talent. so it started there. this certain guy asked me to join them with this event so i said yes! we started practicing at his place.sometimes the group would end up sleeping to his place and as well as me. the night before the event we seemed to start liking each other. there were no conversation about it.it's just it started like we show intimacy to each other. But it didn't went really good as the time passes by. he became distant. so i felt hurt. but then, i never give up..i wasn't demanding anything from him. I felt like being challenge. so what i did was just let him..i gave him space and time. so, we still hang out and spend time at his place but then again he goes back to his old ways like having girls...same shit. but still, i was holding on. One time after a couple of months had passed. The most painful thing he ever did to me was aking me to meet up with him at his place to have a drink because his guy friend was also there.then suddenly a girl called; telling that she's outside his house. so he told me on that moment that i need to leave because his girlfriend is right outside. so i was trying to tell him that he can introduce me as his friend but then he harshley told me that he couldn't do it..then he said; "I am so sorry but the only thing i can offer to you is friendship". I was crushed and devastated. I went out and run as fast as i can i was almost hit a cab. i told him that this will be the last time that he will see me. i went back home crying it was almost like i wanted to kill myself but then i realized it's not too late..instead of remorsing i should show him that im a better person...and i can be better more than he thinks. so what i did was i keep on praying and trying not to carry grudges..it went all well. somehow i was slowly recovering from what happen. i started dating. i started exploring myself then suddenly he came out to the picture again. he still have my number he keeps on sending me messages, calling me.he's been really a totally a jack ass, just for me to notice him. then he asked me to meet up with him to talk. then again i said yes! it's like i can't resist him. so we did! we talked he was sorry. he realized that there was really something in me that he can't just let it go. i was trying to understand the thought of giving him ANOTHER CHANCE i was full of doubt by then. but still i did gave him chance...after a year, i'm surprised he's starting to make some sort of efforts. it turned out that he's now the one who would call me if he has problems in his family..he cried out to me..we spend a lot of time sharing thoughts and experience. one time he told me that i am very important to his life that he couldn't let me go. and i'm surprised with his actions lately like now, if i'll start talking he's definitley listening and sharing point of views...recently i told him because i can't hide it anymore it's like i'm about to explode.so what i did was i told him that until when are we going to be like this? i'm tired already...and i was really crying that time..and he was really quite he was like a computer program that's been installed "processing".he carries me then he just told me "let's go to bed" i know you're tired from work. so basically he didn't answer me. i'm confused? let me tell you something also about him, he came from a bad relationship..his first girlfriend for 11 years whom he'd helped to go on abroad to work. left him for another guy. the second was an arrange marriage because the girl wanted to be a casino dealer so she need to marry a local resident just for her to work as a casino dealer.it became like they mutually developed from each other but then it didn't went really good after few months so they separate. the 2nd girl now have a new family. after that 2nd girl he met alot of women...but while having those women in his life i was like a replacement everytime his lonely. i know it really sound terrible about his past. but, can you please him me... please give me some tips to handle this..i want him to really commit with me.
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reader, Ordinary Girl +, writes (7 September 2010):
Ordinary Girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you sooo much...it helps me more to think much deeper and more clearly
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (3 September 2010):
 Sounds like he falls back on you when ever he has messed up and is alone. You can choose to be there for him everytime or not. Give him one more chance to change because you really feel for him and at some point in his life he will realize that you really do care for him, i hope it's not too late for him to realize this as he has made many mistakes through his bad judgement. Hope this helps
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