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female
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anonymous
writes: I have just broken up with my boyfriend and I'm a mess. He left without telling me and kept me hanging on for over a week, lying and pretending everything was alright! He even pretended a family member had died to stand me up. He still hasn't told me to this day that we're finished, but I know he's found someone else. He is a disgusting, despicable liar and I know that I'm well rid of him, but I'm finding this break up really hard to deal with. There's no way on God's Earth I want to set eyes on him again. I've totally lost my confidence, especially in men, and I just want to curl up and cry. I have a wonderful family and friends around but I live alone and I can't sleep at night. What's the best way to deal with how I'm feeling? I have had breakups before, but always seemed to recover fairly quickly. This time around, I'm physically and mentally broken. How do I heal this broken heart?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2005): HelloThanks Becky, that's pretty much what I'm doing now. It is starting to get easier. My family have been absolutely wonderful, I'd be in a mess without them. Hi anonymous, I'm afraid if he ever even tried to return to me, I would kick him into the middle of next week. My friends helped me a lot, when we discovered what he'd done we put all his stuff he had at my house on the barbecue. Yes it was petty but extremely satisfying...Now I'm getting on with my life, I'm going on holiday in a couple of weeks, going out with my friends and I even have a date at the weekend. Thanks for all your help and advice x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2005): I've just had the same experience, but I don't feel like a victim, or feel guilty. I did my best, and he wasn't the one. I find the less I contact him, the less I mull over what's happened, or think about the whole situation, the better I feel about it. I know this isn't easy, but we all choose what to think, be it positive or negative. I was making myself ill, so now I try to shut him out of my head, and only think of him at set times of the day. My time to think of him or the situation is just before I go to sleep at night. The rest of the time, I discipline myself. It really works. Also, don't have any contact, or go through old love letters, photo's etc until you are feeling much stronger. Hope this helps, because it's saved my sanity. I'm also making plans for myself, thinking of a few things I've always wanted to do, and putting my plans into action. It helps to have a goal to achieve. If he does return, he'll be much more attracted to a strong happy woman, not a weeping mess. If you are heartbroken when you see or speak to him, that will just confirm to him that he made the right choice. Spend your time thinking about you, what you want to do, pampering yourself, and you'll feel better.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (10 July 2005):
This is a normal feeling.take time to lick your wounds.One important thing however, is to make sure you dont shut yourself away from the rest of the world, go out with friends, family or even alone.Make the effort to meet new people.Try to keep your mind occupied with other things when you have to spend time alone.This feeling will go away, youve been badly hurt and need to recover from this.
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