A
female
age
36-40,
*aomiQT
writes:umm this is complicated - i have been friends with a guy for about 4 years on and off ( hes 45, married with a daughter, iam 22) recently he got my no. of a mutual friend as he wanted to call me to catch up, he told my firend he always really liked me and he has left his wife of 22yrs and is single.We have had a few dates and its wonderful i have never felt like this or been so happy! my question is though what do you think of the situation with his wife? he told me a week ago ( weve been dating for 2mnths) that he left his wife a week before our first date!! wats up withthat!! i know iam the 'rebound girl' so to speak but iam falling in love with him! he bought furniture for my hose and fixes everything he has also been over everynight... what should i do? i dont know if i can walk away from him... do you think he will go back to his wife? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mycryingheart  +, writes (21 November 2007):
Dear Naomi,
Although this man seems like Mr. Wonderful, I have a sad feeling he may be Mr. Wonderful right now.....until all the legal matters with "his real family" start to come to the surface. You must keep a level head about you and know this, he may be able to buy you furniture and "fix everything" right now, but that may soon have to change when the judge orders the child support and alimony payments that his wife and daughter are entitled too. Even if his daughter is too old for child support payments, she may have real issues with her father dating someone who can't be much older than she is, in which case, your relationship will be facing major hurdles in the near future. He may be willing to loose his wife, to keep his relationship for you, but chances are if his daughter is old enough to be uncomfortable with the age of her fathers girlfriend, Dad will be given the choice of her or you.
Then there is the possibility that he may be dealing with his own mortality and has realized that he is getting older, hence the history of separated and divorced men in this age range who specifically target the younger girl whom he hopes will look the other way about his obvious aging in exchange for financial security and gifts that one with his "financial and credit history" can provide. In other words he is willing to be "played" by the beautiful hot babe to be able to pass his self off around his own peers and friends as "young and hip". But this trade off would always come with you getting the short end of the stick should he decide that maybe his wife wasn't so terrible after all, or it is just too expensive to "keep you" and pay his court ordered family obligations. It may be cheaper to go home to his family. THIS OF COURSE IS NOT YOUR FAULT, you did not ask for the gifts, but when trying to break away from his "obligation" to you, you would unwittingly become they enemy, just as his wife is now.
I hope that this is not the case for you, and I have called this one all wrong. But it seems strange to me that within a week of leaving his wife of 22 years, he was out with you. He was able to forget the love, tears, happiness, and his history with this woman. If it was so easy for him to replace his best friend and lover of 22 years so fast, don't you be mistaken that you would have a closer bond to him. If it was so easy to leave her, it will be even easier to leave you. Think about that.
No matter what, most people don't fall out of love so quickly and even those that do don't jump back into a serious relatioship. Something just doesn't make sense with this guy, be careful.
If something seems to good to be true, it probably is- By your own admission, he seems too perfect!
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