A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for 3 years now. Things were going really well for us but the last couple of months i have not been happy in my realationship. I feel like i am leading him on now, and feel really guilty about it. But I know if i was to leave him that it would crush him. We have talked about the things that i believed were pushing me away from him, and he has tried to change those - but I feel like i don't want him to change for me. I don't know how i am suppose to leave him when we live together and own a house together, as well as a few loans in both our names.Any Advice?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): It depends on the financial situation, if it is not too much trouble to seperate you assets with him, and if you can survive on your own, than yeah end it as soon as possible.
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (22 May 2008):
 Hi. This is a hard situation for both of you, I feel for you. Obviously you have given considerable thought to your feelings and have gained some insight into what's going on for you,and what you think you should do?
There is no easy way to seperate from someone who you have loved and built a life with - and yes, your man will hurt deeply. However, if you truly believe you don;t want to be with him, even if he is willing to make changes and work on things - if you aren't then you are doing the best thing for him AND you in the long term if you end things. The relationship will just deteriorate if you stay for the wrong reasons, and as much as it probably kills you to think of him hurting or hating you...you can't not listen to your own heart.
The house and loans and all that "stuff" just complicates the split slightly, but at the end of the day that is not what's important - it will be sorted out. What you need to focus on is you and him...and getting through this very difficult time as best you can.
He will go through a range of emotions - a big one likely to be anger - just be prepared for this and try to ride it out. Good luck.
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