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anonymous
writes: I broke up with my boyfriend last night and for some reason althought I know it's what I wanted I am really sad and have cried. What can I do stop feeling like this and how do I stop him from not talking to me or being funny?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (1 May 2005):
 When you break up with someone it's an admission of a mistake that you made, and it's also a recognition that something you wanted to be good went bad (or was never good).When you look at it from that perspective, it's understandable that you'd be sad for a while. You miss the good aspects of the person you broke up with, and you're grieving for the "might have beens".To get past it, you have to remind yourself that something was wrong enough to make you want to end it with that person. You say that you know it's what you wanted, so think about that. What things were wrong? How did you try to fix them? Remember that aspects of the relationship made you sadder than you are now. Then remember that you're now free to make new choices and start fresh, with a new understanding about the pitfalls of relationships.After all, this isn't the end of the world, just the end of one relationship. And, in general, relationships have a beginning and an end. Even most friendships start and end, eventually.You can't "stop him" from talking to you or being funny, but you can remind yourself that you felt strongly enough that the good aspects of the relationship didn't outweigh the bad ones. I suggest that you be pleasant to him, but don't hang around making conversation with your ex unless you really want to. If you do, it might give him false hope that you're still interested. If he talks to you, acknowledge it, then excuse yourself. When you've gotten used to being without him as your boyfriend, you can always reassess how you feel.Good luck.
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